deep huh, "stuff"
but truly, if i'm not allowed to drive in the carpool lane when i have a fully (almost, next week is when everything is done cookin) developed child living inside my body, am i a mother?
the answer to this question is yes. even though all day i've been fighting it because i don't feel like i've "earned the right" or lived it yet, yes. i know i've said it before but this time i mean it because i understand it- if you are a woman, you are a mother.
there are countless women in my life who have taught and led and guided and helped me over and over again- and i'd have to say even though they aren't my physical mother- that spiritually i think we all have this special nurturing gift as women.
it's there when your roommate drives you to the hospital, it's there when your young women's leader shares a past mistake she made with you, it's there every time we touch another woman's life.
and ultimately, your own mother is a culmination of those events- and hopefully (if you are as lucky as i am) your mother is just the one woman who gets you and loves you down to your bones. in between your not so perfect, especially there, and on top of it all still sees you coming out as a queen.
most importantly, everything i've learned began with my mom, and ends there too.
(she's there for my aha moments.) (and the woman taught me how to speak!) (probably something she regretted in my early teen years)
my mom has taught me (and teaches me) to love the unloved, to love myself, to value traditions and spirit. she taught me to work hard, and to be better than i am right now at this moment and that if i fail i have every chance to make it and it's never too late to try.
she taught me to see others, to put myself in people's shoes and to always be understanding, she taught me not to complain (even though i break this one a lot...) she taught me that life is hard. that my life isn't that hard! and that life IS worthwhile.
she taught me how to love my family. and she taught me why. which is really important, because without them i'm pretty much not a big deal.
at all.
she taught me to sing.
by bringing music into the home constantly, by humming and whistling and bursting into song.
she taught me to be spontaneous.
she loves me even though i'm a weird, totally unique, sometimes hard to understand person.
she gives me hope.
and she is why, more than anything i am excited to be a mom myself.
she's kind, and clever, and artistic (even though she would never admit it) she creates beauty where she goes, and she is BEAUTIFUL (when will she get old?), she's nonjudgmental, and sensible, and she doesn't always take my side, she's never afraid to tell me i'm being dumb when i am!
which i appreciate.
and i love her.
forever
i like her for always.
i can't wait for her to be grace's grandma.
in an equally long post sometime i'd like to write about my mother in law- seriously people, i scored in the mom area in my life. right now i am falling asleep and i keep crying all day. so it's time for bed.
am i turning into an infant?
sheesh.
well, happy mother's day to all you women everywhere.
1 comments:
Our Bishop nailed it today... he pointed out that Eve was called the 'mother of all living' years, maybe decades before she ever had children. He said, "Motherhood is not merely defined by the bearing and raising of children but is rather a statement regarding the divine nature of women. All women, whether or not they bear children, can fulfill the role of mothers. The work they do should also be remembered as we celebrate Mother's Day." I love that!! Mother is a deep and complicated word, with meaning we don't quite grasp in mortality. I am grateful to be a woman and have a part in the gospel of Christ!
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