unthinkable

i did it, the unthinkable- when i was a kid my mom would pull meatloaf out of the oven and i would screw my face and nose up into the snootiest grimace and turn for the hills. later muttering as i smeared ketchup off the "ruined" meat. or falling asleep at the dinner table because i couldn't eat it.



but tonight
i am making my very first
(albeit turkey)
meatloaf.

please don't run for the hills.

i probably wont this time because nowadays i'm always, ALWAYS hungry! and my brain is concocting the strangest foods altogether that i can't stop and slow down and think of one good thing to eat at a time! again, do not fear- i am not craving dirt or chalk or turning pica or whatever that stuff is that some pregos do, i just love food.

i get on foodgawker and i stay there for hours.
favoriting dishes
like that is going to make them appear in my kitchen

exactly like the photographs.

b isn't any help either and i'll explain why

b's version of "a snack before dinner" is two packages of top ramen with a cut up boiled beef hotdog in it and a giant chocolate protein drink.

yes, the man is desperate for me to come back and start cooking like a normal person again.

he also begged me for his birthday present early today. why do we always do that? i want to be a normal real wife person who knows what her husband WANTS for his birthday ON his birthday and can buy it and have him be surprised when he unwraps the 25 pound set of rubber BFS weights. WHY can't i be that wife? instead we buy those things early and then look at each other on our birthdays like "please tell me you got me more stuff even though we already spent the money and i told you not to get me a present"

and the smiles fade when all the wrapped presents turn out to be bathroom goodies like a loofuh, flossers!, a new toothbrush, and body wash with a scrub! (thrills and chills people)

at least i make a mean birthday cake. when i want to.

as much as i'm craving food constantly- i feel sick constantly- so it's a double edge sword.
and usually results with nothing happening.

are you a terrible gift giver?

can you cook?

and do you like meatloaf?