worst dreams

last night brandon came home from work with the knowledge of: the paleo diet

if you don't know what that is basically it's an arrangement of foods that our tummies have been programmed to digest- and fights against anything that our stomachs have NOT evolved to digest- like refined sugars, processed foods and more! Pretty much you can't eat grains, dairy, or sweets or carbs of any kind. pretty much. i'm going to die.

it's a caveman theory- eat lean meat! eat fish, eat as many fruits and veggies as you want!

but then it says to steer clear of legumes and i get sorta confused. didn't cavemen eat beans?

i love beans.

but then b asked me when the last time i ate them was and i couldnt remember so i must not love them as much as i think.

but no rice? no oats or grains? whaaaa?

but we really need to do better with our eating habits, we both feel tired all day and sleep horribly (which i know part of it is due to pregnancy and (ptsd) and plain ol stress).

so last night was our first experiment.
it cost 100 dollars for nine meals (3 days) of groceries.

we need to shop somewhere else.

i'm thinking of getting a costco membership.

anyways, last night was celery braised chicken, a giant baby salad with blueberries and vinaigrette, and a kiwi sliced up.

i couldn't even look at the salad i was so full on celery and carrots, but baby must have liked it because i woke up at 2 in the morning STARVING.

i mediated the paleo diet by making sure that we bought a viable cookbook (the biggest loser cookbook duh) with things that looked reasonable and good in it.

this morning is broccoli and cheddar mini frittatas. wish me luck

also: my sil is a genius who sews cute things- look at how awesome this dress is (and how skinny she is, she is the mother of THREE!?! like, just stopped breastfeeding her little-ist)

mind your mother

i was talking to my mom this morning, she shared something with me that i think is relevant to everyone so i thought i would share it here.

she told me that sometimes, when the dreams we have for ourselves are shattered, we hurt ourselves more by trying to continue those dreams instead of moving to what is and can be happy.

beating ourselves against the broken pieces of what could have been

because of fear.

fear that nothing else will work out for us, or that we wont be satisfied with what does actually happen.

i think that's true,

recently i've let myself feel like i've had more than my fair share of troubles- i've let myself feel really alone

when in reality most everybody feels that way at some point in their lives.

so here's to not being alone and to recognizing the things that are actually OUR struggles

and not making others' burdens our own if they aren't.

and enjoying what is

what can be because of what is now.

mates of the inti

besides wanting everything on anthropologie all the time, i've recently rediscovered their intimates section.

please someday let me fit into something like this again.




tmi?
sawwy.

on sunday we had a sprinker pipe explode because someone didn't turn off the water for winter. (everyone says its someone else and nobody wants to admit it- so naturally b and me feel like it's our fault.) we came home and the backyard was FLOODED. at first i thought, how nice, the snow is melting... into a pool?!

it ran down the stairs into the basement.

so b and me, being of course naturally previous homeowners nowhere forgot to look in the basement to see if water had leaked in.

water has leaked in.

ere where.

so we called a carpet cleaner peoples who came over and said, no uh this is an insurance job, so we called insurance who said ummm we probably dont cover that thanks for paying us every month for nothing and we'll call you back-not.

so last night it was me, b, and mama c, shop vacuuming, ripping up the carpet and pulling out soaking wet carpet pad.

installing a giant fan, all of our food storage is propped under the carpet to keep the airflow.
and

just if you were wondering, people charge 800 dollars for that.

so next time it happens to you call us! just kidding please dont but i'll sympathize if you do.

this morning i woke up and walked down the stairs and found a whole peanut sitting at the bottom of the stairwell.

it made me really happy.
i'd like to dip that peanut in resin, and frame it and put it in peanut's room.

and even though it feels like friday, happy thursday to you all.

also: things i wish i didn't know about as a soon to be mom:
-petunia pickle bottom diaper bags!!!! bahhhh.
-boden for babies
-nordstroms for babies

no!

no!

no!

no!






(no!!!! keep thinking spit up, throw up, and poop not chic pleated and dry clean only)

maybe i can just sew some of this stuff... but probably not. dont let me look again.

the first dress is called "aren't you curious little peanut" SERIOUSLY! aw nuts.

cloudy with a chance...

...that Grace decides to try out as a professional soccer player/ baby boxer all night on my insides!


does it mean i'm lazy if i use my fbook status as my entry titles?

i dont care.

last night was AWESOME! (i know in three more months i'm not going to be saying that, and my innards are going to start to hurt badly) but,

just before i fall asleep i put my hand on my belly to see if peanut will respond to some prodding.

Every sunday my little 5 year old ctr class asks if they can feel Grace- because in one lesson i talked about how we came to earth and heavenly father's plan for us to be happy and I let them feel my stomach (because it makes me happy to feel her move) and since then it's become a tradition and I can't lie- it's honestly the sweetest thing in the world to have five little five year olds' put their little hands all over your tummy and talk to it and poke at it and ask to meet her and shout and laugh when she bumps and moves.

Last night she finally responded in a different way! Mostly, since the beginning of 3 months i've felt grace in little bumps and spurts, sometimes rolling around, but mostly it's pretty quiet in there.

but last night! HOLY MOLEY! she was practicing jujitsu or something. It's a totally different feeling than having small bumps or burps or rolling sensations when a baby kicks and punches your insides!

I've been missing out! She does it in quick little jerks and spasms and i can feel her little limbs pushing from the inside and the outside and my stomach dances around in weird lumps! Does that sound gross? Because it was MAGIC to me. I kept brandon up half the night laughing and making him feel it. She wouldn't go to bed!

And then when brandon fell asleep he started kicking too, finally I had to yell for all to stop whatever crazy kickingfest they were attending so that I could go to sleep. And they did.

Today is a cleaning scrubbing pick up your mess ing from the weekending day.

I'll be ing-ing all day.

peep day

(i apologize in advance for the terrible quality of these photos)
My sister in law farah showed me the cuuuutest nursery online the other day and they took like white molding frame and made a design on the wall with it so it looked like a bunch of crown molded plus signs all over the wall



kind of like that one- but less intricate, more simplified and modern and I really want to do it on one of the walls in grace's room. (do you see the plus signs?)

There is so much else to do though!

LOOK at this awesome nursery- it is giving me so many ideas! The book holders are made from curtain rods (which i totally see grace ripping out of the wall...) (i would too if i was a baby and i wanted to walk around and there were low hanging rods coming out of the plaster) with cute fabric sac-shelves hanging off of them.

The mobile above the bed is a LOT to look at so I think i'll stick with my elephants on parade one... if i ever finish it. And I'm either thinking of doing a window box, or drapes and make a seat cushion for the windowseat instead of just the hard wood. I wish that windowseat opened up and was a toybox that would be the best!

I need to replace the handles on the closet knobs, and the drawers- I need baby hangers so I can start to hang up her things OH i could PAINT the knobs that are already there...

I need to decided if I want this honken huge beautimous armoir in there. The more stuff I move in the less inclined I am to have this thing in there with everything else- and it needs knobs too. (which anthropologie could provide if i could find the ones i want...)



In other news, b left at 9 this morning to hike mount baldie (sp?) behind our house. He was hoping it would be kinda a lone man hike so he could think or have an adventure or im not sure what- but when i pulled up to the trailhead there were a TON of cars- looks like everyone in orem had the same thought about "it's going to rain, nobody is going to hike today!" not.

B felt really silly because he was in some camo and had his recon backpack and marine thermals on. He took dash with him because he wanted protection from mountain lions... mountain lions?! what? Maybe he's right- us california girls dont think anything about that- instead right when i dropped him off he told me- if i dont make it home tonight dont worry because it just took me longer than i thought- and i said DO YOU HAVE A FLASHLIGHT?
nope.

one up california girl.

what can you do in the dark on a mountain by yourself with a dog? not much.

well, lets hope the hike takes a LOT less long than he thinks and that he comes home tonight. i dont even think he has a house key because i'm going out with some old dear friends from connecticut-callie and lauren. I'm so excited I haven't seen them in forever (i'm not so excited to be huge and pregnant but i'm continually telling myself that a miracle is happening here! and that i don't have to feel sexy until after I have a baby)

Pray for b, that he doesn't do anything stupid like try to run up a mudslide or fall off a cliff, that dash will keep him safe and that they dont run out of water or anything.

Pray for me that i'm not a total social basketcase from being inside and alone all the time.

j!

twenty FIIIIVE

weekarooskies

plus my valentine's day box which i'll never get to show off again probably.





ANNNND grace's room! I took this pic when it was dark out and the light inside isn't so good but in the mornings it is so bright and lovely... today I built the crib and the changing table. I think I put the spring mattress settings too high, brandon says it's okay for an infant but when she gets bigger she'll crawl right out! Sorry they is all blurry, i hate flash... howdya like the teal? also, i need to vacuum...:]


the first bedroom i've ever painted...

get back to happy

How many of us, if we were asked how we are would say that we are happy? "I am happy."

I met a guy once, who every time I asked him how he was he would say "so blessed!" with a huge grin on his face. I LOVED asking him how he was. Because I knew he was like me, and had good days, and bad days, but his answer suited both.

What's it like to be that person?

I'd like to know.

Instead of spilling out every single stupid thing that is bothering me, if I would have the patience and thoughtfulness of other people to just say the truthful and sincere things what would kind of person would that make me?

I'm not talking about always pretending I'm happy.

Or always acting like my life is terrible.

If anything just so much less of the latter.



It's gray outside. The kind that drips it's color onto everything else and makes you feel cold when you look at it. It's beautiful too.

Yesterday we painted grace's room! It's so pretty! And I started assembling the changing table. I still feel like there is so much to do before she gets here. I have nightmares about going into labor early and for breakfast I ate vanilla almond granola. okay and animal crackers. I read this and it changed my day. You should read it if you get a chance.


What is your gray day bringing you?

theese bees

My dog, thinks that he is hunting birds. I couldn't ever tell him he can't fly- it would break his poor little puppy heart. But birds are a step up from what he hunted yesterday in the brief and beautiful sunshine. Bumblebees.

Everywhere. I think they were tired from the winter, so they stayed mostly to the ground and this caught dash's attention and held it for hours. At ten in the morning I saw him pouncing on something, at 12 I heard him wheezing and coughing like he'd eaten a ball of cotton, and when I went out to paint the chicken coop I found out why. ALL day dash hunted bumblebees. They would hover lazily to the ground and he would pounce, catching them in his paws and then he would sit down to a nice meal in between his toes.

I kept thinking, ohhhh you are gonna get it from one of these bees. And I'm certain he did. At least it kept them away from me.

So yesterday the coop got painted it's first lovely barn red coat and then it snowed all night. I'm sort of afraid to look outside...

This morning I woke up and went downstairs looking forward to fresh eggs (we have too many PLEASE come get some fressh eggs!) (we are getting four each day now) and B had eaten all the brown ones and all that were left were the huge green ones that our little arucana easter hen started laying. In some ways I thought, how nice, B left me the freshest eggs- but then I laughed because I realized that he's afraid to eat them because they are green! I only know this because I am too.

I cracked um and scrambled em with ham and had green eggs and ham! It was delicious!

It makes me laugh that we have these amazing fresh fresh fresh eggs, and we were afraid to eat them for a while because they weren't the typical bleach white mediumsmall clean eggs in a carton. But there is something to be said about people who tell you that fresh eggs taste better because they do!

It's sad that i trust a carton that's been all over who knows where full of eggs that have been taken from chickens who live in terrible circumstances (cooped up coop assembly lines that are filthy with bright lights on all the time so they'll never stop producing) (okay not ALL commercial eggs are produced this way but a lot are). Then there's the transportation time, and the time they sit on the shelf in the grocery and then they finally make it home with me where they sit on a shelf in my fridge for another two weeks.

yum?


no!

Did you know that in America,"we export 1.1 million tons of potatoes, while we also import 1.4 million tons."?!?!


Please be spring already. I need to build a chicken run and plant my life in the ground.

ethical antics

There's too many clothes I want that I wont fit in.

I think this is an improvement. Today was HOLY BEAUTIMOUS outside, so I went and painted the chicken coop the first layer of barn red.

I hope it doesn't decide to rain before the paint is totally dry... at least it's blowywindy before?


hmph.

I was looking at all the trees while I was driving today (okay, i was looking at the road too!) and I could see they were as excited as I am about spring coming, little blossoms are lining each branch and the world that looked dead is stretching it's colorful branches out to the sunlight.

That's how I feel today.

Probably too hopeful about the sunshine.

Dear future last year May blizzard that may occur this year, please don't.

Think about the depression you'll cause, not to mention the harvest you'll put off.

Because it's that time of year again folks- time for me to start my indoor gardening! I gotta get out all my seed starting dirt, my cups, and line em in the windowsills- it's sprouting time! Am I jumping the gun a little bit?


You'll be thanking me later when I give you a big bag full of fresh sugar snap peas.

lovelovelove
the springishone.

The fourteenth is so last century

This year for valentine's day I decided I was going to drag out our little blue table and cover the livingroom in candles and order out food and get all pretty before brandon got home from his last class.

I think we both have some sort of flu that is dragging out because we've both been feeling really yucky (but not yucky enough to stop doing what life demands) achey and nauseous (is this sounding like b is pregnant? ha ha just kidding) and tired, so B stayed home from work and his first class and worked on a paper instead.

WHen he went to his afternoon classes I was still in what I came home from water aerobics in, sweats and a tshirt with messy hair. I was determined to get this surprise underway and done before he came home so I called texas roadhouse to order our food a few hours early.

When I went to call them, I was put on hold for a half an hour! Holy smokes, so I got in the car, on hold, and drove down to the restaurant to see what was going on and it was a zoo-disaster! By the time my call was answered, I was at the front of the takeout order line and I had to ask the waitress if it was better for me to order on the phone or to just tell her my order which was hastily scribbled on a piece of scrap paper.

She assured me it would be done in 15 minutes, but I gave her 45. I waited until B's class was over and pushed all the thoughts of me looking like a freaking (albeit pregnant) babe with curls and my valentine's dress picking him casually up from class with hot smoking ribs in the back seat and a romantic setting at home. Yeah, that didn't happen, I was foodless, curl-less, and cranky as I pulled up and picked up B. Still in my sweats.

We went back over to texas roadhouse at 520 to pick up our food because it should be ready right?
Wrong.
The man hadn't even PUT IN MY ORDER YET. He stood there, frazzled, with a pile of papers scrawled with orders apologizing to every person, trying to ask how people's days were going. I could hear the tremor in this man's voice- So, I backed off because I didn't want the poor guy to have a nervous breakdown and began to wait again.

3o minutes later, I approached this guy to see if I could pay for my meal before it was ready, and to check on how it was going. THE MAN HAD STILL NOT PUT IN MY ORDER.

It got to the point where I'd been waiting in texas roadhouse for my food for an hour and a half- and I'd been trying to order my food since 4pm.

Finally, basically in tears, I went up to the guy and said, I know you're busy, I know this is crazy- but I've been here for an hour and a half and I've watched people come and be seated, and pick up their food before me, and I'm furious.
Okay, I didn't say I'm furious but I was and I wanted to.

I'm not good at bullying people, or making sure they know that I'm alive.

I hate it. I would do almost anything to avoid it I don't like being an inconvenience to someone else.

Brandon comes into texas roadhouse with a completely puzzled face.
I get our food, which is missing a bunch of stuff, (BUT THE RIBS, ARE THERE praise the lord) and I'm regretting the tip I left them, and I'm heading out.

Brandon is in a TERRIBLE terrible TERRIBLE mood. He's hungry, I'm beyond hungry, and we're both just angry.

Finally on the way home he looks over at me and starts to laugh because he realizes how much we both hate valentine's day. "Why do we do this to ourselves?" "we are rational, adult human beings, yet year after year we go out and try to beat the crap out of each other to make our spouses feel special."

I told him I was sorry I wasnt in curls and a dress, and then we laughed some more because even though dinner was the LEAST romantic thing we could do, we parked it in the livingroom and ate ribs like savages, and watched the office and laughed with our teeth full of food.

In my sweats and in his jeans.

We decided that next year, we are celebrating valentine's day on the 15th.
Everything is cheaper,
people are nicer,
single people are done grieving,
and restaurants are dead. er.

Instead every year on the 14th we will celebrate all things NON valentiney. We will stay home, and eat cereal and throw popcorn at each other.

I'm serious.

So celebrate with us! We love you, just don't crowd the food places on the fifteenth.

Happy fifteenth of february!

eat that valentines day blues!

All weekend B had drill, so I wasn't expecting much for valentine's day and I was telling B that I've never really had a BIG V day because last year he was in afghanistan (he still sent me beautiful flowers but it was tough because i missed him to bits) and there was this one time in highschool where my first boyfriend did this whole candles and teddybear and candy and card and flowers thing- and then 7 years later I found out that really my best friend Krista Kay had done ALL OF IT, EVERYTHING because he never planned anything and she wanted me to have a good valentine's day. So, until yesterday the best valentine's day I ever had was from my main girl KK.

I think Valentine's day overwhelms most people to disappointment.

Anyways, yesterday B was gone all day at work so I went to church and taught my class, and fed them a billion cookies so that they would memorize an article of faith and then got ready for a family home evening valentine's day program my mother in law planned to have where we could all exchange valentines and stuff. it was really sweet! Some of the nieces and nephews preformed cute songs and my mom and dad in law danced and my mom sang to him and it was really tender.

I wasn't sure when brandon was getting off work because the two previous nights it was past 8 so I wasn't expecting he would get off again early. So I headed up to the cabin to have family dinner after the valentine's extravaganza solo.

I called brandon and he said he had just gotten off work and was coming to dinner so i was excited for that. After dinner we drove home and i was ready for bed- I went upstairs to brush my teeth and our bedroom door was closed which was weird so i went to open in with the brush still in my mouth and toothpaste foam all over my face and this is what i saw: (i kind of re arranged things this morning to take pictures) B had gotten off drill and was sneaking around hauling a buttload of candy upstairs, putting flowers all over the bed (the roses are my favorite) and sticking homemade signs on the walls.

I almost spat all my toothpaste onto the floor, I was so excited!













I'm not sure how I will ever consume all of this chocolate... so if any of you need some, please come over (PLEASE!). I have my gestational diabetes test in the next few weeks and- this is not going to help.

But still! how sweet (literally?) I think B cleaned the grocery store out of chocolate.


Maybe this Valentine's won't be so bad.

How am I going to beat that?!

valentines

it's easy to love somebody, for all the good in people there is bound to be somebody who will be so delightful that you fall,

but now i think, that true love is when you love somebody who is acting unlovable.

okay shakespeare said it better


Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come:

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.



William Shakespeare

intelligent but uninteresting.

okay, listen up- i'm not a hater but i really dont like when people think it's a great idea to take photos of themselves every single day in an outfit every single day when they look cute every single day anyways, and do they really need to document it like getting dressed is some sort of amazing accomplishment and make the rest of us jealous of their wardrobe?

really?

you look the same every day, your clothes don't,
and i think it's lazy blogging.

get back to telling me your thoughts which are intelligent and interesting.
kthnx.

ps this doesnt count for thrifter blogs who are helping you see how you can save on your wardrobe.

advice always sounds better in a foreign language.

Berry kix are back and so am I.

Why did they ever get rid of those?! I found them at target.
Bless you target.

Yesterday I did not eat a cupcake or move to the moon- even though I am extremely in favor of both ideas. Still.

I did however, indulge myself in half a box of annie's white cheddar bunnies, three baby valentines cookies (you know those really thick sugar cookies from the store?) a piece of pizza, and an entire box of blueberries.

I bathed the dash.

And I watched My Life As A Dog, which is a swedish film and it is really good I liked it a lot. It was exactly what I needed to hear. erm, read because i don't spreckhin the swedish.

Dash just pooped and peed in the garage.

I am unforgiving.



If the moon doesn't work out, I'm open to Virginia.

There's something hiding in the reads.

This post is entirely inspired by Liz Whittaker (wait! it's Chapman now) and her list of lovely books.

Being pregnant has given me precious time to read as much as I want and I know this may be one of the last periods in my life where I can afford such a luxury.

So, to get away from feeling the winter blues, the stubborn semester closing work drive, or to just escape to something different than what is from your perspective, here is a list of some of my most favorite books in the entire world.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close By Jonathan Safran Foer (all you have to do is read the first chapter to understand why I love this book)

Letters to An American Lady By C.S. Lewis

Peter Pan JM Barrie (Barrie's writing takes me to a place deep inside myself that will always be a child and makes it live and breathe again)

The Mason Williams Reading Matter By Mason Williams (this book has it all, humor, depth, pictures, and is very very clever- it makes the perfect gift too.) (don't be fooled by the cover, it is a treasure)

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (sweet and hard to put down)
by Mary Ann Shaffer

Animal, Vegetable, Miracle By Barbara Kingsolver (i love her writing)

Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris (hilarious, be sure to read six to eight black men in the back)

Beautiful Losers by Aaron Rose, Christian Strike, Alex Baker, and Arty Nelson (if you want something to look at for hours and liked underground art before it was trendy ( i.e. b5nksy and wooster collective), you'll appreciate the old school beginnings of a lot of these artists)

The Missing Piece Meets the Big O By Shel Silverstein (best in children's books and applies to any age)

The BFG By Rhoald Dahl (i'll read anything by him- his brain is so fantastic)

Poets of Mozambique By Frederick G Williams (my brother gave this book to me, and i love it- the flavors and combinations of words are so tangible)

Actual Air By David Berman (self portrait at 28 is amazing, his other poems are wonderful too)

Pickwick Papers By Charles Dickens

The Professor and The Madman By Simon Winchester (mind boggling- a great story of forgiveness)

Jane Eyre By Charlotte Bronte (long, but lovely)


okay, c'est fin.

Soup means flu for breakfast

Edit: Flu means soup for breakfast.

Yesterday B and me both woke up pukey-achey (that should really be one word) so I made soup for dinner last night. Lentils and vegetables with polska in it. hmmmm except it wasn't a lot of broth- whoopps. Later that evening B's mom brought over more soup and bread and chocolate cake (CHOCOLATE CAKE?!) (IS THAT LIKE A SUBSTITUTE FOR ASPIRIN?)

This morning I woke up and I can tell my body is street-fighter ing its way out of this sickness (what does that mean you ask? it means noises coming from my stomach, loudly, headaches like someone threw a chair at my head, and acheyness. have you seen what street fighters can do?! yeah. acheyness) i went downstairs and found what appeared to be a bear had gone through my kitchen and eaten all the soup and left the containers strewn all over the counter. the bacon was gone too.

Brandon.


I'm glad you can make me laugh when we're feeling as poorly as the kitchen looks.

mac doogals. there's one on every corner.

last night after the temple we went to mcdonalds to get soft serve and happy meals because all over everywhere have been these billboards with the new happymeal advertised in the old cute red box like they used to have, so naturally i was really excited and waiting for my little red box and when they handed me a bag i almost threw it at the lady. (not very christlike...), but still! where's my red box? and then this morning, morning sickness hit me like a truck- so no more mcdonalds 930pm runs for us! hahaha.

it was so good to be back in the temple with brandon, it's the first time he's been since being home from afghanistan and me him and peanut all got to go! there's something really comforting about this stage of pregnancy- like i'm carrying my favorite stuffed animal in the front of my tummy everywhere i go. except this stuffed animal moves and has a heartbeat and feelings and kicks me at funny times or when i say certain things to her. i can't wait until she responds to poking, it's not crowded enough in there yet.

my favorite are the mornings (when im not sick with mcdonalds, oversugaring) when it is really quiet and peaceful and i can feel her moving round and round twirling like a ballerina. kicking and waving and fluttering. it's such a wonderment to me.

yesterday i went to have our oil changed and the tires rotated and ended up having to buy new brake pads and refinishing our rotors instead. with valentine's coming up (our first vday together!) brandon and i have both had our heads in different corners of the house trying to make surprise secrets for each other, each hollering loudly not to look when the other comes near. so this unexpected expense for the month is going to up our creative-cheap game.

in chicken news, we get three beautiful brown eggs each and every single day- warm and oval. mom cleaned out the coop the other day and put all the shavings on the ground with the poop (burns the plants.) and dash has been thrilled each and every single day to go outside and dig around so that he can eat all of it. (euwhg) it is honestly his most favorite thing in the whole wide world and i wish we had a hose so i could spray his face before he comes inside with a beard of wood shavings.

welp, it's nine thirty and i better go squeeeeze into the only swimsuit that fits right now and head off to water aerobics (after mcdonalds i have no reservations about working out today).

what are you doing today?

The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.
-- Amelia Earhart

accomplished!

the first... baby bumper is finished!
the rest are sewn but I need to put the ties on and hand sew them closed.



and the other side (I decided to make them reversible)



easiest bumpers ever! if you wanna make some just stop in at joanns or a fabric store and they have precut foam pieces with a pattern in it. even special people like me can sew it! my sewing professor used to say to the class "measure twice cut once." and then she would point at me and say "YOU MEASURE THREE TIMES and cut once." yeah.


now all i have to do is a honeydolist and get brandon to paint the room so i can assemble the criiiibbbb!!!!

in syncopation

i hope today is like this. somehow.

book looks

I think it's a sign that I'm lusting too much after material things when I already own:


these plus some that aren't shown and now I want




the three new ones that come out in april!

AND look at what anthropologie has...



THANKS A HEAP, just in time for me to want Clothbound Penguin Classics For Children at almost 20 bucks a pop. (maybe the price will go down like it did for all the other classic hardbounds... which are now 10 each instead of 15) (anne of green gables, the secret garden, the adventures of robin hood, the adventures of huckleberry finn, the wind in the willows,and last but certainly by far not least; peter pan.)

Curse you book world.

On a happy note: brandon and I decided early in our marriage that we are never too poor for books, and every family needs a library of classics that nobody touches (i don't believe that part) but everyone loves, so: i'll have to find a way...

backyard bump, but in the frontyard

I feel dumb posting these, because i really feel like a giant ball- but people ask me to and most of the people in my family are far away and this is the numero UNO grandbaby so bear with me while i bear peanut with me.

getting this big has its perks (i know, what?) now that my skin is stretching tight i can see peanut moving in my tummy instead of just feeling her (yesterday i woke up for church and my whole torso was lopsided...) which is so cool because brandon has trouble feeling her move because she is tucked behind her placenta- so when the whole stomach pops and moves he can see it!

yesterday i finally gave in and bought some maternity clothes (my sweet sister in law brooklynn lent me a ton but they are all in SMALL because she is so little and pretty pregnant- so i had to go get some that are too big because i know i'm going to get bigger...)

and maternity bras. because my lady lumps were suffering in my little B cup bras. Turns out I am now a large C... never ever ever thought i'd say that. and my milk isn't even in yet.

In the meanwhile I've been rubbing lotion all over myselfs in hopes to vanquish early stretch marks ZAP before they get here- because i'm becoming a supersized jacqueling.

I'm also 98% positive that I'm further along than the docs thought. I mean, look how huge i am!

dash, dominance, and dog dreams

Dear frightening, scary, awful, weird, awkward, uncomfortable pregnancy dreams: please halt or at least lay off a little on the gory reality of yourself.

sincerely,

said pregnantee.

My dog is a boxer lab, his name is dash and he is getting really big and LOVES to play. Anyone he meets he thinks PLAYYYYYYYY in the most intense way a dog can. Like when I give him a tough bone- it's gone in five to ten minutes. (can you imagine what he would do to B's chickens if he ever got a hold of one?!) I buy him UNRIPPABLE toys, and he tears them apart, and rips out the squeekers and eats them. So when my mom brings over her white lab kayla- he chases her around the backyard for HOURS. At first I thought this was really cute, because he finally has a friend? No, it's not cute, because when I look out the window I see two dogs "playing" so that one can hump the other- and frankly I think Kayla hates dashs' guts. She's always running back to the kitchen door and pressing up against it, like "pleeease, let me in away from this crazy!" That or sometimes I look outside and she's off by herself staring into the distance like I used to do when I was mad at my childhood friends and just wanted to be left alone but couldn't go home because I had no ride.

Is this me psychoanalyzing a dog?

Biting another thing seems like such a violent way to play... they look so vicious. That and I dont think i'll eva understand the dominance thing.


Good thing i'm human beans.