i'm not sure why i titled this post the way i did.
it came to me.
suddenly
and i'm sitting on our new holiday flannel bedsheets (i love green and red and cream!) making some special christmas gifts and thinking about my tender mercies of today.
today
i went to my midwife prenatal checkup
WANNA SEE THE PICTURES?!
i discussed some random things i had questions about that you don't want to know.
and then the midwife put a microphoney thingy to my belly and poked around and around and around and it took forever to find the heartbeat and i was holding my breath because i was scared that the baby was gone and then there it was fluttering out loud and i almost started crying because i was so relieved!
holy mamma!
and then the midwife said "you are showing really early, and very high up... i wonder if you have twins and we just didn't catch it"
which almost sent me into another flurry of tears and freaking out.
so, i (lucky girl that i am) got to have an ultrasound! (i love these) (well, the outside ones...) they squirt your belly with blue stuff and rub it all over with this magical wand that can see inside your insides! and it took her a few minutes to get the picture of baby because 1. baby was mad that she was pushing on it 2. baby was FLYING ALL OVER MY BELLY! it was so incredible to see this little person that brandon and i made inside my stomach flipping around, kicking it's legs,grabbing it's face and toes, wiggling it's arms and it's fingers and i started laughing so hard because
baby is just like brandon and me already!
and laughing doesn't make it easy for the midwife to keep the picture on the screen,
and baby wasn't making it easy either.
the nurse was getting pretty agitated.
but i couldn't stop laughing!
it's incredible! peanut went from being 2.5 cm to 12 cm in such a short time! i',m already 1/3 done with this pregnancy craziness!
everything has gone by so fast.
in conclusion,
i love ultrasounds
i am in LOVE with our baby already,
and i need to control myself next ultrasound so i don't miss a single fliparoo, or swimming or wiggling fingers or anything next time!
i can't believe how alive he/she is already.
that explains my tummy feeling like it's on a ship all the time... :]
it's worth it!
i love you peanut.
November 30, 2010
November 28, 2010
goodbye youtah
This thanksgiving has been so short! I had so much to be thankful for and just a week to celebrate. It just flew by! I am reluctant to leave the cozy cabin and the cherapple house that we put christmas lights up at! I am excited to move down here and be around civilization and family again! Brandon and I will go on dates (miracle)(in rexburg we never want to leave our house...)! Anyhow, it's been a good vacation and I can't imagine going back to a weather high of 6 degrees.
However, I am excited to get rid of these cold sores. NO MORE POPCORN< SLUSHIES AND PIES!
Brandon is asking me if I am writing more cynical things, it's a bad habit I've developed recently and I think it's been in vain efforts to push away the christmas spirit that's already infusing the world around me.
Also, I find the older I get the more I miss home.
Weird huh?
Utah, I'm going to miss you- it's been real.
However, I am excited to get rid of these cold sores. NO MORE POPCORN< SLUSHIES AND PIES!
Brandon is asking me if I am writing more cynical things, it's a bad habit I've developed recently and I think it's been in vain efforts to push away the christmas spirit that's already infusing the world around me.
Also, I find the older I get the more I miss home.
Weird huh?
Utah, I'm going to miss you- it's been real.
brandonisms
"I'm going to staple Burger King applications to every bad paper I ever grade!"
-Brandon.
-Brandon.
November 26, 2010
Black friday
I can't lie, I admire the throngs of brave people who enjoy a good deal. But frankly I think you are all crazy. There is nothing I would hate more (besides working black friday which I did last year at bath and body works in park city which was madness and truthfully terrifying) than to wake up at the unholy hours and drag my stuffed, constipated body all over the place running into overjoyed slaphappy shopheads in my drowzy, discombobulated state. Maybe I just need sleep more than the average bear, but I can NOT do black friday. The tension that is running high, the arguments over who got there first, the children crying because they should be asleep. Mom's forcing clothes onto kids, or like last year, me waiting for my ride and all her sisters to go through pac sun and get ugly stuff for two hours after my shift was over. I fell asleep in one of their displays. I'm serious. So cheers to you who pull it off beautifully, without fights and get super awesome steals. And heres to you who statistically know that the prices of "black friday" are lower the weeks before because they aren't selling as much of their overstock.
love,
j
love,
j
November 24, 2010
job rants
in the frustration of job searching...
LET ME PREFACE THIS by saying this post turned into the most awful rant of my life (i used my 2 swears for next month) because I was stuck in this job(when brandon was deployed) where I couldn't say how I felt because I felt bad about how I felt and I loved the children I was caring for. So, in someways this post was therapeutic because for almost 7 months I kinda just sucked it up and never said anything except to my bff kirsten (and my mom). This post didn't make me a better person, but it made me feel better just because putting it on the internet made me feel like that part of my life didn't happen (because something this ridiculous couldn't really happen right? just on the internet.) So I'm sorry if this is offensive to anyone who actually knows me or is a mother trying to get babycare right now. I feel like now that I've written all of it out, I can just put it to rest and never ever think about that time of my life again.
1. if you are advertising that you have a job opening, please be as honest as you would like your candidates to be. Please list what the job actually is, not a general overview of the entire company's policies or high range pay that has nothing to do with what you are hiring for. Please list realistically what the hours will be and not crazy general statements that drive me crazy. As a person who is looking for a job, I'd like to know what I am responding to. Thanks a heap coyote ugly.
2.if you are hiring for a nanny or a caregiver, please be realistic and fair. I am not going to be the mother of your children. That's your job, it was yours when they came out of your body and it will be until the day you die (which hopefully isn't soon), don't list an ad saying you want to pay basically next to nothing for me to do everything in your house for you, i.e. "you might be needed to run the kids around and drop them off" might i? should i? could you possibly be more specific? maybe you need to hire a bus driver. just kidding. "you will need to HELP with doing, dishes, laundry, meal prep, bathing clothing, cleaning" so when you say HELP you are really saying, I NEED YOU TO DO ALL THIS CRAP BECAUSE I WON'T. Ladies, THIS IS NOT HELPING, YOU ARE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU because frankly you are too busy to be a mother which you should have thought about before becoming one, or you are a lazy piece of poo. or maybe both. or maybe there is a better reason that i cannot possibly understand right now because i'm angry. and there is no way, in kingdom come, i am ever, EVER, ever working for a family that will pay me close to minimum wage to do their every bidding ever again.
ever.
even if i like them.
LETS BE FAIR PEOPLE.
would YOU do your own job (being a mom) for 8 dollars an hour?
hell no.
you do it for free because you LOVE YOUR CHILDS!
BUT i am not doing it for free because i need a job!
which is where we meet in the middle!
I do NOT want to accept a job under false terms ever again! I WONT! IT'S CRAZINESS. I WOULD RATHER WORK IN THE DRIVE THROUGH OF TACO BELL THAN BE LURED TO A JOB THAT SAYS HEY YOU might NEED TO DO THIS and then they tell me to do everything that they can do themselves but don't feel like doing. YOU FILL YOUR DAYS WITH STUFF YOU DON'T NEED AND THEN MAKE ME DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE. (i.e. shopping trips, photo shoots, plastic surgery,decorating,crafts, random romantic getaways, dinners, lunches, and sometimes (when you feel like it) work!)
I WOULD RATHER WORK IN A TACO BELL DRIVE THROUGH,
DOES ANYONE UNDERSTAND THIS?!
I HATE TACO BELL!
At least, in a major franchise that pays minimum wage and serves terrible unhealthy food that kills people- they aren't going to LIE TO ME, MANIPULATE ME, OR USE ME. I wish I had an ounce of guts when I am actually in these situations.
This has happened to me more than once.
Can you believe that?
Can you believe that a family who wants me to take care and love their child and sort of replace their time with their own children, would treat me that way? and the WORST ABSOLUTE WORST PART OF THIS, IS THAT I DO, I DO LOVE THEIR CHILDREN, I DO TREAT THEM AS I WOULD MY OWN (someday), and I don't want to leave them with their own parents! Isn't that pathetic?!
Single parents, you're alright I like you, you struggle, that's okay. Just be fair with me and yourself. Don't lie to get what you want.
Don't make me clean up your dog vomit, don't make me do every single one of your household chores, and for heaven's sake, never, sit me down and give me a lecture about how YOUR house could be cleaner. Don't leave your dishes in the sink all weekend so that when I come back to work I have to do all those plus the childrens all day, don't make me do your dirty laundry, it's disgusting! Don't make me sweep, or mop, or windex, or answer the phone and take messages, or take phone calls for your business. Don't let your children run wild all weekend eating food anywhere they want, peeing on things,eating candy galore, and then tell me I should clean it up! Don't hire me to take care of children who have serious problems that I'm not trained to handle. Especially without telling me when you hire me. DON'T tell me you'll pay me 10 to 15 dollars and hour and then pay me 8.75!
DON'T DO IT!
TEACH YOUR CHILDREN HOW TO BEHAVE! Or better yet, teach yourself how to behave! Being a bad parent doesn't make you a bad person, but all the other stuff does.
Oh, and putting a smiley face after something bitchy that you wrote doesn't make it better.
:0)
LET ME PREFACE THIS by saying this post turned into the most awful rant of my life (i used my 2 swears for next month) because I was stuck in this job(when brandon was deployed) where I couldn't say how I felt because I felt bad about how I felt and I loved the children I was caring for. So, in someways this post was therapeutic because for almost 7 months I kinda just sucked it up and never said anything except to my bff kirsten (and my mom). This post didn't make me a better person, but it made me feel better just because putting it on the internet made me feel like that part of my life didn't happen (because something this ridiculous couldn't really happen right? just on the internet.) So I'm sorry if this is offensive to anyone who actually knows me or is a mother trying to get babycare right now. I feel like now that I've written all of it out, I can just put it to rest and never ever think about that time of my life again.
1. if you are advertising that you have a job opening, please be as honest as you would like your candidates to be. Please list what the job actually is, not a general overview of the entire company's policies or high range pay that has nothing to do with what you are hiring for. Please list realistically what the hours will be and not crazy general statements that drive me crazy. As a person who is looking for a job, I'd like to know what I am responding to. Thanks a heap coyote ugly.
2.if you are hiring for a nanny or a caregiver, please be realistic and fair. I am not going to be the mother of your children. That's your job, it was yours when they came out of your body and it will be until the day you die (which hopefully isn't soon), don't list an ad saying you want to pay basically next to nothing for me to do everything in your house for you, i.e. "you might be needed to run the kids around and drop them off" might i? should i? could you possibly be more specific? maybe you need to hire a bus driver. just kidding. "you will need to HELP with doing, dishes, laundry, meal prep, bathing clothing, cleaning" so when you say HELP you are really saying, I NEED YOU TO DO ALL THIS CRAP BECAUSE I WON'T. Ladies, THIS IS NOT HELPING, YOU ARE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU because frankly you are too busy to be a mother which you should have thought about before becoming one, or you are a lazy piece of poo. or maybe both. or maybe there is a better reason that i cannot possibly understand right now because i'm angry. and there is no way, in kingdom come, i am ever, EVER, ever working for a family that will pay me close to minimum wage to do their every bidding ever again.
ever.
even if i like them.
LETS BE FAIR PEOPLE.
would YOU do your own job (being a mom) for 8 dollars an hour?
hell no.
you do it for free because you LOVE YOUR CHILDS!
BUT i am not doing it for free because i need a job!
which is where we meet in the middle!
I do NOT want to accept a job under false terms ever again! I WONT! IT'S CRAZINESS. I WOULD RATHER WORK IN THE DRIVE THROUGH OF TACO BELL THAN BE LURED TO A JOB THAT SAYS HEY YOU might NEED TO DO THIS and then they tell me to do everything that they can do themselves but don't feel like doing. YOU FILL YOUR DAYS WITH STUFF YOU DON'T NEED AND THEN MAKE ME DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE. (i.e. shopping trips, photo shoots, plastic surgery,decorating,crafts, random romantic getaways, dinners, lunches, and sometimes (when you feel like it) work!)
I WOULD RATHER WORK IN A TACO BELL DRIVE THROUGH,
DOES ANYONE UNDERSTAND THIS?!
I HATE TACO BELL!
At least, in a major franchise that pays minimum wage and serves terrible unhealthy food that kills people- they aren't going to LIE TO ME, MANIPULATE ME, OR USE ME. I wish I had an ounce of guts when I am actually in these situations.
This has happened to me more than once.
Can you believe that?
Can you believe that a family who wants me to take care and love their child and sort of replace their time with their own children, would treat me that way? and the WORST ABSOLUTE WORST PART OF THIS, IS THAT I DO, I DO LOVE THEIR CHILDREN, I DO TREAT THEM AS I WOULD MY OWN (someday), and I don't want to leave them with their own parents! Isn't that pathetic?!
Single parents, you're alright I like you, you struggle, that's okay. Just be fair with me and yourself. Don't lie to get what you want.
Don't make me clean up your dog vomit, don't make me do every single one of your household chores, and for heaven's sake, never, sit me down and give me a lecture about how YOUR house could be cleaner. Don't leave your dishes in the sink all weekend so that when I come back to work I have to do all those plus the childrens all day, don't make me do your dirty laundry, it's disgusting! Don't make me sweep, or mop, or windex, or answer the phone and take messages, or take phone calls for your business. Don't let your children run wild all weekend eating food anywhere they want, peeing on things,eating candy galore, and then tell me I should clean it up! Don't hire me to take care of children who have serious problems that I'm not trained to handle. Especially without telling me when you hire me. DON'T tell me you'll pay me 10 to 15 dollars and hour and then pay me 8.75!
DON'T DO IT!
TEACH YOUR CHILDREN HOW TO BEHAVE! Or better yet, teach yourself how to behave! Being a bad parent doesn't make you a bad person, but all the other stuff does.
Oh, and putting a smiley face after something bitchy that you wrote doesn't make it better.
:0)
Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Guess who is playing ketchup?
this moi!
Did I already do this one? I dunno okay
so
Brandon and I are having t day with his family this year (his mom makes the most amazing thanksgiving ever! last year there were three turkeys two hams, and prime rib... just a small hint of what it was like and there were only 13 adults to eat it all plus some kids) but this year I GET TO CONTRIBUTE Francis recipes into the mix of gloriousness that the Cochran family thanksgiving tradition is.
so, since this is my first time making any of these recipes i went kinda small
i'm making (even though normally i hate jello, this is one of my favorite recipes) my mom's ribbon rainbow jello (it's a rainbow! and you can cut it out into any shape) (i wish i had a turkey shaped cookie cutter with me) (this is kinda what it looks like)
and my great grandma Wing's homemade "dressing" (stuffing)
so, these are hopefully things i will be proud of in the coming week. or they could be culinary catastrophes. but still! i will do my best!
The reason why i will be so proud of these if they turn out is because both of them take TIME and patience. Which is part of the reason why I am blogging right now because in between every single layer of jello ribbon, I have to wait an hour. (normally doing something like this would drive me insane) but i have the blog and this list i need to catch up on.
this moi!
Did I already do this one? I dunno okay
so
Brandon and I are having t day with his family this year (his mom makes the most amazing thanksgiving ever! last year there were three turkeys two hams, and prime rib... just a small hint of what it was like and there were only 13 adults to eat it all plus some kids) but this year I GET TO CONTRIBUTE Francis recipes into the mix of gloriousness that the Cochran family thanksgiving tradition is.
so, since this is my first time making any of these recipes i went kinda small
i'm making (even though normally i hate jello, this is one of my favorite recipes) my mom's ribbon rainbow jello (it's a rainbow! and you can cut it out into any shape) (i wish i had a turkey shaped cookie cutter with me) (this is kinda what it looks like)
and my great grandma Wing's homemade "dressing" (stuffing)
so, these are hopefully things i will be proud of in the coming week. or they could be culinary catastrophes. but still! i will do my best!
The reason why i will be so proud of these if they turn out is because both of them take TIME and patience. Which is part of the reason why I am blogging right now because in between every single layer of jello ribbon, I have to wait an hour. (normally doing something like this would drive me insane) but i have the blog and this list i need to catch up on.
November 23, 2010
thinksgiving
hey remember when i started this list every day thing and never finished it? hah! ohwell.
happy thinksgiving.
j
happy thinksgiving.
j
November 22, 2010
the apple juice is always gone before you are ready
this is sundance
this is sundance never ceasing snowing
this is me
this is my belly that popped! i'm not sure if it's a little early, if i just am not sucking in anymore, or if i like the bump so much that im letting peanut hang out but i dont care because I LOVE MY BUMP and i love to rub it and talk to it and bump (gently because itreallyreally hurts) into things! also, i love maternity wear and i'm never going back! just kidding brandon i love you. but seriously, maternity wear is 9876543324576890876 more comfortable. and soft.
for those who care i am on a winning eat streak i only throw up a couple times a day and if this winning streak ends before thanksgiving and i have to see all that delicious food and not eat it i will be furious.
love,j and BUMP.
November 21, 2010
tangy
why am i popping so soon?! my belly is huge, maybe i'm just relaxing too much.
why does chapstick make my lips worse?
why do i love maternity clothes?!
they are so so so so so comfy.
thank you brooklynnn!!!!!
why do i love the phrase
"thats the biggest load of bunk i've ever heard"
?
it snowed ALL LAST NIGHT and it's so beautiful! i want to go sledding. is that a bad idea while pregnant?
why does chapstick make my lips worse?
why do i love maternity clothes?!
they are so so so so so comfy.
thank you brooklynnn!!!!!
why do i love the phrase
"thats the biggest load of bunk i've ever heard"
?
it snowed ALL LAST NIGHT and it's so beautiful! i want to go sledding. is that a bad idea while pregnant?
November 19, 2010
Something you’re proud of in the past few days
I am proud that even though i have no energy mentally or physically and I barfed the whole time i was doing it because of the smells, i cleaned the toilet so now it just smells like a pool to throw up in.
Spick and span.
Spick and span.
Short term goals you have for this month
tah nuhhh i forgot to do that thingy yesterday. MOstly because i didnt realize i had to have short term goals every month but in some aspect i guess everyone does.
1. be nice to all people even if they wont substitute for your sunbeam class which is the easiest and best calling in the ward.
2. try not to be annoyed at everything
3. enjoy when brandon sticks his mouth in your belly button and shouts to peanut ridiculous requests like for baby to bring money from heaven and not to have mental problems- instead of scold.
4. do what you can around the house and if you cant stay in bed all day until you can do something.
5. find another doctor
6. move to oremz
7. be accepting of others even if they've offended you or rub you wrong.
8. don't yell at dash- he is just 7 months old and he can't understand you (see hyperbole and a half blog for more dog info on dash)
9. keep fluids down.
10. keep food down
11. make a successful rendition of mom's stuffing and rainbow jellow for thanksgiving with the cochrans.
those are my goals this month.
1. be nice to all people even if they wont substitute for your sunbeam class which is the easiest and best calling in the ward.
2. try not to be annoyed at everything
3. enjoy when brandon sticks his mouth in your belly button and shouts to peanut ridiculous requests like for baby to bring money from heaven and not to have mental problems- instead of scold.
4. do what you can around the house and if you cant stay in bed all day until you can do something.
5. find another doctor
6. move to oremz
7. be accepting of others even if they've offended you or rub you wrong.
8. don't yell at dash- he is just 7 months old and he can't understand you (see hyperbole and a half blog for more dog info on dash)
9. keep fluids down.
10. keep food down
11. make a successful rendition of mom's stuffing and rainbow jellow for thanksgiving with the cochrans.
those are my goals this month.
November 18, 2010
home.
it's not just morningsickness or the flu or foodsickness, it's homesickness.
i miss home more than anything right now.
i miss home more than anything right now.
im like, a professional ranter.
i have to say people
im really not sure if i have the flu or food poisoning.
i think it's the latter since i threw up all last night until finally this green stuff came out of me that was NOT bile (it came out with bile but not bile) and I DO NOT remember eating anything green yesterday. except my apple which came up right away and did not look like spinach.
after that i felt a little better, drank a ton of water and went to bed.
which was probably a bad idea since now that im prego, baby is sitting right on my bladder so i was up for the rest of the morning too.
pregnancy truly is a miracle.
of hell.
i asked my mom how she did it with four kids
and she said memory loss.
i really hope i inherit that gene too.
at least in the case of pregnancy.
i can say wihtout the least inhibition that this morning i hate my sunbeam zerick who lives above me and decided that from 7 until 9 he was going to stomp and jump off furniture and run down the hallway back and forth and back and forth which is right above my bed which is where i usually sleep. the worst part is that i know if i go into my midwife she'll just say to take the medicine she gave me which i can't keep down SO WHAT'S THE POINT OF LIVING!?!
cant be worse than the time i went in for an IV because i was 98% sure i was dehydrated and the secretary told me nobody was there, and that i looked oKAY because i still ahd pink around my eyes.
i almost strangled her little latino neck.
oh ushhhh scuuze me, noboady iss hear to hulp yew, becauuusss we all take like, two hour loonches. could yew lyke, dryve beck in lyke, an hoer or somesing becauseeee nobody hure cen help yew.
lady, i mnot even sure how i drove here.
THIS IS A DOCTORS OFFICE
HELP ME.
maybe i should just bypass stupidity and go straight to the hospital
do not pass go
do not collect 200 dollars
(in fact, spend it)
but ladies and gentlemen
it would be worth 200 dollars if i could have water in my veins
and my medicine in the form of the DISSOLVING TABLET WHICH I KNOW EXISTS
love
your average insane pregnant lady with food poisoning. i think.
im really not sure if i have the flu or food poisoning.
i think it's the latter since i threw up all last night until finally this green stuff came out of me that was NOT bile (it came out with bile but not bile) and I DO NOT remember eating anything green yesterday. except my apple which came up right away and did not look like spinach.
after that i felt a little better, drank a ton of water and went to bed.
which was probably a bad idea since now that im prego, baby is sitting right on my bladder so i was up for the rest of the morning too.
pregnancy truly is a miracle.
of hell.
i asked my mom how she did it with four kids
and she said memory loss.
i really hope i inherit that gene too.
at least in the case of pregnancy.
i can say wihtout the least inhibition that this morning i hate my sunbeam zerick who lives above me and decided that from 7 until 9 he was going to stomp and jump off furniture and run down the hallway back and forth and back and forth which is right above my bed which is where i usually sleep. the worst part is that i know if i go into my midwife she'll just say to take the medicine she gave me which i can't keep down SO WHAT'S THE POINT OF LIVING!?!
cant be worse than the time i went in for an IV because i was 98% sure i was dehydrated and the secretary told me nobody was there, and that i looked oKAY because i still ahd pink around my eyes.
i almost strangled her little latino neck.
oh ushhhh scuuze me, noboady iss hear to hulp yew, becauuusss we all take like, two hour loonches. could yew lyke, dryve beck in lyke, an hoer or somesing becauseeee nobody hure cen help yew.
lady, i mnot even sure how i drove here.
THIS IS A DOCTORS OFFICE
HELP ME.
maybe i should just bypass stupidity and go straight to the hospital
do not pass go
do not collect 200 dollars
(in fact, spend it)
but ladies and gentlemen
it would be worth 200 dollars if i could have water in my veins
and my medicine in the form of the DISSOLVING TABLET WHICH I KNOW EXISTS
love
your average insane pregnant lady with food poisoning. i think.
November 17, 2010
braggging writes
today,
was the worst.
i thought i was over the morning (more like mourning) sickness since i'm 12 weeks (even though i've met mothers who were puking through their delivery... the whole nine months) (mein kampf!) (true story) but today it started fresh (my mom warned me it would) and there is nothing worse than throwing up everything you eat and drink and going into the bathroom so many times that the lightbulb finally explodes while you hurl your soul into the toilet.
so
today,
brandon came home from school
did our 2345678909876545 dishes (not an exaggeration)
changed the lightbulb
rubbed my back while i puked
made me peaches and cream (FAVE) oatmealdinner even though he knows i'm going to throw it up (he even made it watery for me! maybe.)
made me tea
made me apple juice ice cubes
went to dinner/lunch (dunch?) with my grandparents who came into town
picked up all the dog poo in the backyard
didnt make fun of me for watching pokemon movie 599.
and finished his brilliant julius caesar essay.
and brought me everything in bed.
angel man.
why is it pitch black at four oh clock in rexburg? is the end near?
because if it is, i'll be glad to be done with today
and to have forever with angel man.
peace, love, and nausea
j
was the worst.
i thought i was over the morning (more like mourning) sickness since i'm 12 weeks (even though i've met mothers who were puking through their delivery... the whole nine months) (mein kampf!) (true story) but today it started fresh (my mom warned me it would) and there is nothing worse than throwing up everything you eat and drink and going into the bathroom so many times that the lightbulb finally explodes while you hurl your soul into the toilet.
so
today,
brandon came home from school
did our 2345678909876545 dishes (not an exaggeration)
changed the lightbulb
rubbed my back while i puked
made me peaches and cream (FAVE) oatmealdinner even though he knows i'm going to throw it up (he even made it watery for me! maybe.)
made me tea
made me apple juice ice cubes
went to dinner/lunch (dunch?) with my grandparents who came into town
picked up all the dog poo in the backyard
didnt make fun of me for watching pokemon movie 599.
and finished his brilliant julius caesar essay.
and brought me everything in bed.
angel man.
why is it pitch black at four oh clock in rexburg? is the end near?
because if it is, i'll be glad to be done with today
and to have forever with angel man.
peace, love, and nausea
j
A picture of someone or something that has the biggest impact on you
first this guy
then this little one
brandon says big heads come from my side of the family but i corrected him by saying that big BRAINs come from my side of the family and conveniently his side has provided the big heads. just kidding actually brandon has a little head. all his hats fit me... wait.
November 16, 2010
i saaaaid
i said i dont like belly shots but i mean bare naked belly shots.
this is just to show that i am showing! eeeeek!
also it is snowing.
ALSO look
what came in the mail for me! who sent these? that is so sweet! literally. I took a picture of my happy face and my cold sore hidden by the delicious amazing gift!!!!!
thank you! person who is awesome and random and amazingly mysterious friend.
Favorite super hero and why
I dated someone once who opened my eyes to freakazoid but I can't say that he is my favorite superhero.
I'm going to go back into my babyroots a little bit and tell you a story about one time how I had a nightmare that all the superheros died and only batman could save them and then someone killed him...
then i woke up and threw up spaghetti five times nearly missing the brand new carpet in my parents room and ruining my mother's fuzzy pink bathrobe.
Anyways.
this guy:
He has it all, the muscles, the car, the butler, the mansion, the secret hideout dungeon filled with bats, he has hot sidekicks and back-kicks and even kicks, look at those boots. He's chiseled, he's fresh, he's mysterious, he's so loveable. maybe not cuddly but he's lost his whole family give him a break. His voice is sexy and he saves gothem city the coolest city ever.
Anyways, I just wanted to leave no room for doubt that batman was/is the best. As he is re-done more and more I don't know how much more I can like him. Being married and all.
If we are talking about HUMAN super heroes that's easily this guy because he's real and that makes him the best. And he wouldn't die on me when the world needs him.
He helped me dunk the basketball when i was small (fly), he drives a pretty awesome car (only after he bought nice ones for every single person in my family before himself), he's selfless, he's loaded, he's mysterious, and he's hilarious. This man is charming, I have almost everything in my life due to him, he married my mother.
He is my dad.
SUPER hero < dad.
I'm going to go back into my babyroots a little bit and tell you a story about one time how I had a nightmare that all the superheros died and only batman could save them and then someone killed him...
then i woke up and threw up spaghetti five times nearly missing the brand new carpet in my parents room and ruining my mother's fuzzy pink bathrobe.
Anyways.
this guy:
He has it all, the muscles, the car, the butler, the mansion, the secret hideout dungeon filled with bats, he has hot sidekicks and back-kicks and even kicks, look at those boots. He's chiseled, he's fresh, he's mysterious, he's so loveable. maybe not cuddly but he's lost his whole family give him a break. His voice is sexy and he saves gothem city the coolest city ever.
Anyways, I just wanted to leave no room for doubt that batman was/is the best. As he is re-done more and more I don't know how much more I can like him. Being married and all.
If we are talking about HUMAN super heroes that's easily this guy because he's real and that makes him the best. And he wouldn't die on me when the world needs him.
He helped me dunk the basketball when i was small (fly), he drives a pretty awesome car (only after he bought nice ones for every single person in my family before himself), he's selfless, he's loaded, he's mysterious, and he's hilarious. This man is charming, I have almost everything in my life due to him, he married my mother.
He is my dad.
SUPER hero < dad.
November 15, 2010
A picture of somewhere you’ve been
juuust kidding
This is where i grew up. i miss it terribly. i cant wait to go back. Wilton Connecticut
November 14, 2010
"But behind that fair facade I'm afraid she's rather odd..."
One time I asked Brandon what Disney princess I would be hoping he would say Tinkerbell or something clever and quirky and cute) but instead he said Belle... mixed with the Tasmanian devil.
true story.
I mean, the girl just wanted to READ!
...
"Look there she goes that girl is strange, no question. Dazed and distracted, can't you tell? Never part of any crowd, cause her head's up on some cloud."
true story.
I mean, the girl just wanted to READ!
...
"Look there she goes that girl is strange, no question. Dazed and distracted, can't you tell? Never part of any crowd, cause her head's up on some cloud."
A habit that you wish you didn't have
OKay, laugh it up, that's me trying to be sexy.
But I don't want you to focus on me, I want you to look at the pile of dishes behind me.
If I've ever used this word correctly in my life it is now: RIDIC.
It's really kinda gross.
My worst worstworst habit is that I have no brain
nope,
my worst habit is that i forget to clean up after myself.
I'm ashamed to say that this habit is infectious and my husband now has it.
It's gotten a lot better than what you see there, but I've been this way pretty much all my life. I like clutter, I like being around it (not long term...) (just long enough for it to drive me insane with madness and for me to go ocd and clean everything) (or to invite my bfffltfblt krista over because she's a speed cleaner)
I also bite my nails.
And I wake up in the middle of the night and get scared. turns out this is kinda hereditary.
November 13, 2010
A picture of you and your friends
This one is comin atcha early because i dont want to do it tomorrow and i'm waiting for something to upload.
And last but not least certainly by any. Even though it is at the top... is Brandon L cochran. This person came a lot later in my life that I expected him to, and once he was there it seemed he was there too soon! There has never been anyone on the earth like brandon. Brandon makes me laugh harder than I even thought physically possible. He makes me feel completely at ease. He is the most beautiful man inside and out and he's a genius. He has terrible music taste sometimes but he is always serving me, doing the dishes or rubbing my back or singing to me. He used to snore but then he decided (with some help from my jabbing im sure) to just stop. which is incredible. He has all sorts of interests and is always learning something new to share. He teaches me to be a better person, to be less selfish and more loving. He just spilled the entire bag of popcorn kernals on the floor in the kitchen and now I can hear him chuckling while the popcorn pops. He has the best attitude of anyone I know, and he loves the Lord. I know I will die laughing someday if he is around. And I hope with my dearest heart that he is. I tell him if he dies I'll kill him. He is my missing piece. He is going to be the father of my children, he makes me happier than I could ever fully understand. He completes my life. I love him and I am lucky to know him.
So, I know kirst is going to kill me for posting this picture since it is really old and we have a million more that are better and beautifuller. But, this one is important because we'd known each other for a while but I was visiting utah to get my hideous perm, and I fell in love with kirsten while I was there and decided I really wanted to get to know her which was an excellent decision since she has been a friend and comfort to me ever since that trip (curls or no curls, hairs or no hairs). Kirsten has listened to my heartaches and my brain, and probably what I say in my sleep ( i know I've listened to hers... summerbeans) and she kind of kept me in one peace during Brandon's deployment. She stayed the night almost all the time so I wouldn't be scared, watched me cut my own bangs one time and then helped me find someone to fix them at 11pm that night (we laughed about that one for a long time) she takes pictures with me because I'm vain and she loves me absolutely and completely. Kirsten is a genius, she writes beautifully, and says the right things when it counts, (which is all the time) she listens, and cares and is careful with people. She is shy at first but when she opens up to you she is a beautiful person inside and out and I love her dearly.
This is beeny and dello, they were my roommates in a basement that flooded at one in the morning the week of finals two years ago. The helped me decide not to be dumb, do my own hair, and how to do dishes. They also gave me the best buttercream recipe in the world.
This is Bradley, he helped me through a really rough time in my life. He witnessed me break up with harrison in a pool at king james apartment as a joke and the first time i ever slugged a guy in the face. Momentous occasions. He's my peter pan kid, he makes me crack up and one time he threw an apple at my head and it really hurt but he said he was sorry. He even visited me after I got married and nobody was around and I was the loneliest i've ever been in my life. Cheers bradley.
This is Kait. She is the smallest person i know. She is smart and she changed my life for the better. She made freshman year at BYU a hoot. And taught me what modesty, and courtesy was.
This is sarah tayebi, she is my sil (sister in law) and just look at her! She radiates the most loving light, and not even just to me! But the best part of sarah is she makes you feel like the only person in the world, she listens to your heart and is accepting. She is smart and has the BEST LAUGH holy moley! And even though she will tell you differently, she has a soft, clear beautiful voice. She appreciates culture, and cultivates interests accordingly. She knows everything you ever wanted (or maybe didnt want to know) about celebrities (which is invaluable because i know nothing) she likes paper cupcake liners and i used to argue with her because i thought tinfoil ones are better but it turns out she was correct. She is incredibly modest and loyal and THOUGHTFUL. I love this lady.
This is krista kay neeley, she is my other half of a brain (determined the good half). How can I sum this lady up in less than a novel? I'm not sure. Krista is everything. Krista is beautiful and smart and THE MOST LOVING person in the world. She is accepting of everyone, she is inspiring, she is creative and the hardest worker i've known. She succeeds at anything she puts her mind to. This is us our freshman year at college, it's funny how I should have felt so homesick but I had krista, and krista is kinda home for me. I still feel that way when I am with her and when she is absent from my life I miss her terribly. She is loud and infectious and 100% fun. But krista has a serious side too, it begins and ends with her heart and is filled in between with the best ideas and words i've seen. I love this girl. She never forgets or leaves anyone out. And she can cook to boot. Like, REALLY cook.
This is sam, (his initials are sam too, isnt that awesome?) he's one of the only people in my life who i know would drop anything to be there for me. He never made me feel anything but beautiful, and always treated me like a princess. He is one of the best listeners, and he accepts me completely for who I am, even the awful terrible no good very annoying parts. He's smart and funny and I know he'll always be in and out of my life. He's a good friend.
This is Megan, her heart is as beautiful as she is and if you saw her little girl your heart would melt. She helped me TREMENDOUSLY through the deployment and was a constant support, listening ear, and always made me feel good about myself no matter what crazy shananigans the military (or me) was putting us all through. Megan is selfless and her laugh is contagious.
This is my little brother geoff, people have been saying i look like him since he turned 12 ish. It bothered me a lot at first because, hey, i'm a girl and i'm pretty sure he is a guy (for def) but this kid has a lot of soul. He laughs at my weirdest jokes and kinda just gets me. He appreciates everybody and is really easy to get along with. He has excellent taste in music (underground rap) and the guy is hilarious. (it's hard not to just upload a picture of my whole family because they are all so awesome but i'm kind of ashamed to say that I don't know them all as well as i would like to in the future.)
This is my sister Lachelle Lee, isn't she beautiful? We don't have very much in common but I look up to her more than anyone I know, she is brilliant, musically genius, the best writer I've read, and always knows what is happening with the world. She's stubborn and she is a fighter and she has the biggest heart I know like Pistol Pete Maravich but figuratively.
This is Trinity, she is hilarious and smart and loud and always honest even if it hurts like mucho and she is the boldest woman i know. I like her and she helped me through the last half (which is much harder than the first) of the deployment. I WISH I HAD A PICTURE OF ALL MY MARINE WIVES THEY ARE AMAZING WOMEN WHO I ADORE.
SO thats it more that you ever needed/wanted to know, but i had to give it to some of these people. they've done more for me than just one blog post can hold. i am the person i am because of these people and MANY more people. Like my parents and my entire family and a whoodoo of other people that i cant even mention because its like, a boatload.
i love you all. and if you're reading this then you probably changed my life for the better too. just to listen to me means an awful lot because i talk an awful lot.
And last but not least certainly by any. Even though it is at the top... is Brandon L cochran. This person came a lot later in my life that I expected him to, and once he was there it seemed he was there too soon! There has never been anyone on the earth like brandon. Brandon makes me laugh harder than I even thought physically possible. He makes me feel completely at ease. He is the most beautiful man inside and out and he's a genius. He has terrible music taste sometimes but he is always serving me, doing the dishes or rubbing my back or singing to me. He used to snore but then he decided (with some help from my jabbing im sure) to just stop. which is incredible. He has all sorts of interests and is always learning something new to share. He teaches me to be a better person, to be less selfish and more loving. He just spilled the entire bag of popcorn kernals on the floor in the kitchen and now I can hear him chuckling while the popcorn pops. He has the best attitude of anyone I know, and he loves the Lord. I know I will die laughing someday if he is around. And I hope with my dearest heart that he is. I tell him if he dies I'll kill him. He is my missing piece. He is going to be the father of my children, he makes me happier than I could ever fully understand. He completes my life. I love him and I am lucky to know him.
So, I know kirst is going to kill me for posting this picture since it is really old and we have a million more that are better and beautifuller. But, this one is important because we'd known each other for a while but I was visiting utah to get my hideous perm, and I fell in love with kirsten while I was there and decided I really wanted to get to know her which was an excellent decision since she has been a friend and comfort to me ever since that trip (curls or no curls, hairs or no hairs). Kirsten has listened to my heartaches and my brain, and probably what I say in my sleep ( i know I've listened to hers... summerbeans) and she kind of kept me in one peace during Brandon's deployment. She stayed the night almost all the time so I wouldn't be scared, watched me cut my own bangs one time and then helped me find someone to fix them at 11pm that night (we laughed about that one for a long time) she takes pictures with me because I'm vain and she loves me absolutely and completely. Kirsten is a genius, she writes beautifully, and says the right things when it counts, (which is all the time) she listens, and cares and is careful with people. She is shy at first but when she opens up to you she is a beautiful person inside and out and I love her dearly.
This is beeny and dello, they were my roommates in a basement that flooded at one in the morning the week of finals two years ago. The helped me decide not to be dumb, do my own hair, and how to do dishes. They also gave me the best buttercream recipe in the world.
This is Bradley, he helped me through a really rough time in my life. He witnessed me break up with harrison in a pool at king james apartment as a joke and the first time i ever slugged a guy in the face. Momentous occasions. He's my peter pan kid, he makes me crack up and one time he threw an apple at my head and it really hurt but he said he was sorry. He even visited me after I got married and nobody was around and I was the loneliest i've ever been in my life. Cheers bradley.
This is Kait. She is the smallest person i know. She is smart and she changed my life for the better. She made freshman year at BYU a hoot. And taught me what modesty, and courtesy was.
This is sarah tayebi, she is my sil (sister in law) and just look at her! She radiates the most loving light, and not even just to me! But the best part of sarah is she makes you feel like the only person in the world, she listens to your heart and is accepting. She is smart and has the BEST LAUGH holy moley! And even though she will tell you differently, she has a soft, clear beautiful voice. She appreciates culture, and cultivates interests accordingly. She knows everything you ever wanted (or maybe didnt want to know) about celebrities (which is invaluable because i know nothing) she likes paper cupcake liners and i used to argue with her because i thought tinfoil ones are better but it turns out she was correct. She is incredibly modest and loyal and THOUGHTFUL. I love this lady.
This is krista kay neeley, she is my other half of a brain (determined the good half). How can I sum this lady up in less than a novel? I'm not sure. Krista is everything. Krista is beautiful and smart and THE MOST LOVING person in the world. She is accepting of everyone, she is inspiring, she is creative and the hardest worker i've known. She succeeds at anything she puts her mind to. This is us our freshman year at college, it's funny how I should have felt so homesick but I had krista, and krista is kinda home for me. I still feel that way when I am with her and when she is absent from my life I miss her terribly. She is loud and infectious and 100% fun. But krista has a serious side too, it begins and ends with her heart and is filled in between with the best ideas and words i've seen. I love this girl. She never forgets or leaves anyone out. And she can cook to boot. Like, REALLY cook.
This is sam, (his initials are sam too, isnt that awesome?) he's one of the only people in my life who i know would drop anything to be there for me. He never made me feel anything but beautiful, and always treated me like a princess. He is one of the best listeners, and he accepts me completely for who I am, even the awful terrible no good very annoying parts. He's smart and funny and I know he'll always be in and out of my life. He's a good friend.
This is Megan, her heart is as beautiful as she is and if you saw her little girl your heart would melt. She helped me TREMENDOUSLY through the deployment and was a constant support, listening ear, and always made me feel good about myself no matter what crazy shananigans the military (or me) was putting us all through. Megan is selfless and her laugh is contagious.
This is my little brother geoff, people have been saying i look like him since he turned 12 ish. It bothered me a lot at first because, hey, i'm a girl and i'm pretty sure he is a guy (for def) but this kid has a lot of soul. He laughs at my weirdest jokes and kinda just gets me. He appreciates everybody and is really easy to get along with. He has excellent taste in music (underground rap) and the guy is hilarious. (it's hard not to just upload a picture of my whole family because they are all so awesome but i'm kind of ashamed to say that I don't know them all as well as i would like to in the future.)
This is my sister Lachelle Lee, isn't she beautiful? We don't have very much in common but I look up to her more than anyone I know, she is brilliant, musically genius, the best writer I've read, and always knows what is happening with the world. She's stubborn and she is a fighter and she has the biggest heart I know like Pistol Pete Maravich but figuratively.
This is Trinity, she is hilarious and smart and loud and always honest even if it hurts like mucho and she is the boldest woman i know. I like her and she helped me through the last half (which is much harder than the first) of the deployment. I WISH I HAD A PICTURE OF ALL MY MARINE WIVES THEY ARE AMAZING WOMEN WHO I ADORE.
SO thats it more that you ever needed/wanted to know, but i had to give it to some of these people. they've done more for me than just one blog post can hold. i am the person i am because of these people and MANY more people. Like my parents and my entire family and a whoodoo of other people that i cant even mention because its like, a boatload.
i love you all. and if you're reading this then you probably changed my life for the better too. just to listen to me means an awful lot because i talk an awful lot.
The meaning behind your Blog name
Is this narcissistic?
The meaning behind France is
is
my maiden name is Francis
and in high school a lot of my friends called me J Fran
Jack France
and Francy pants.
And my sister's blog was/is? france164
I loved all of those things and that's how I got to France is
theeee end.
France is endless.
The meaning behind France is
is
my maiden name is Francis
and in high school a lot of my friends called me J Fran
Jack France
and Francy pants.
And my sister's blog was/is? france164
I loved all of those things and that's how I got to France is
theeee end.
France is endless.
November 12, 2010
A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
1. I sing all the time, but I rarely preform because of anxiety. I sing everything but bass.
2. My favorite color is brown.
3. I used to think that because my sign was Cancer, that I had cancer and I was going to die. I've dislocated my left knee over 50 times. (partial and full dislocations)
4. I am extremely open although I'm like a puppeteer, there is a lot happening under the surface that rarely surfaces physically or vocally and visa versa. Usually I'm talking a lot when there is nothing going on inside.
5. People called me stone face when I was a baby, I don't think I was unfriendly, I just think that I was thinking too much and puzzled about most of what I was thinking and that exhibited itself on my face. I probably offended a lot of people. Because babies are supposed to be friendly right?
6. I love to write, but I don't usually show anyone what I write. Funny because I have a blog and I do write a lot here as well. Brandon's always scolding me because he says I'm wasting my thoughts by not writing them enough. I suppose fear is my moderator.
7. I have almost perfect pitch, I say almost because I never knew it until one day in seminary my teacher said nobody did and then my class shoved me up to the piano and she tested me for fifteen minutes and I got every single note. Thanks mom for those awful grueling theory classes. Maybe it was luck, maybe it was 6 in the morning. I'm not sure still.
8. If I could play one instrument it would be the clarinet or the viola. (that's two.)
9. I am indecisive (see eight)
10. I tested in the 99th percentile in science on the ACT in highschool but I barely passed chemistry.
11. I haven't written something meaningful from my heart or mind in what feels like a long time.
12. I had a temper journal so I wouldn't say mean things to people from 1st-3rd grade. I am diagnosed with social anxiety, general anxiety, and add.
13. I love postum and ovaltine (does anyone even know what this is?)
14. I could eat pasta for every single meal for the rest of my life (happily). And also be a heffer. (happily)
15. I talk baths every day. I take bubble baths every day.
There you are
There I am. A little bit. I know I doubled on some but I felt cheap with just 15 since I am 22.
I am bored and you are interested!
So, I have a few friends who are doing this right now and I find it really interesting so I thought I would try it out. I'll probably forget in a day or two but until then it will maybehaps be fun?
Day 01 - A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02 - The meaning behind your Blog name
Day 03 - A picture of you and your friends
Day 04 - A habit that you wish you didn't have
Day 05 - A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06 - Favorite super hero and why
Day 07 - A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08 - Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09 - Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10 - Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11 - Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12 - How you found out about blogs and why you made one
Day 13 - A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14 - A picture of you and your family
Day 15 - Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16 - Another picture of yourself
Day 17 - Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18 - Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19 - Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20 - Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21 - A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22 - What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23 - Something you crave for a lot
Day 24 - A letter to your parents
Day 25 - What I would find in your bag
Day 26 - What you think about your friends
Day 27 - Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28 - A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29 - In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30 - Who are you?
Day 01 - A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02 - The meaning behind your Blog name
Day 03 - A picture of you and your friends
Day 04 - A habit that you wish you didn't have
Day 05 - A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06 - Favorite super hero and why
Day 07 - A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08 - Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09 - Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10 - Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11 - Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12 - How you found out about blogs and why you made one
Day 13 - A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14 - A picture of you and your family
Day 15 - Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16 - Another picture of yourself
Day 17 - Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18 - Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19 - Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20 - Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21 - A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22 - What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23 - Something you crave for a lot
Day 24 - A letter to your parents
Day 25 - What I would find in your bag
Day 26 - What you think about your friends
Day 27 - Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28 - A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29 - In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30 - Who are you?
November 11, 2010
Sent to me by a marine wife
Warrior
"I never wore the uniform,
no medals on my chest.
The band it doesn't play for me,
I'm not among the Best.
I do not march in cadence,
I do not rate salute,
I stand among the silent ranks,
our devotion absolute.
If you've not worn my shoes,
you do not know my story.
I live a life of sacrifice,
my reward, a private glory.
I've wept many silent nights away,
and I've kept the home fires burning.
I've worried and Ive waited,
as world events were churning.
I've moved more times than you could fathom,
left more people than you've known.
I've planted gardens round the world
--Very few that Ive seen grown.
I've grieved with new-made widows,
and had my share of scares
--when a ship or plane or man was down,
and all I had were prayers.
I'm not asking for your sympathy,
(although appreciation can be nice)
I did it quite on purpose though
--I chose to sacrifice.
I'll tell you a secret now,
one you'd never guess.
About the one glory that is mine,
it's just enough no more, no less.
When you and I stand together
as our national anthem plays,
I'll fill with reminiscences
of how I spent those days.
I'll know the pain and joys again,
I'll know freedom isn't free,
I'll know I've helped to pay the price
and that the anthem plays for me."
-Elizabeth Soutter Schwarzer
Wife of a United States Marine
"I never wore the uniform,
no medals on my chest.
The band it doesn't play for me,
I'm not among the Best.
I do not march in cadence,
I do not rate salute,
I stand among the silent ranks,
our devotion absolute.
If you've not worn my shoes,
you do not know my story.
I live a life of sacrifice,
my reward, a private glory.
I've wept many silent nights away,
and I've kept the home fires burning.
I've worried and Ive waited,
as world events were churning.
I've moved more times than you could fathom,
left more people than you've known.
I've planted gardens round the world
--Very few that Ive seen grown.
I've grieved with new-made widows,
and had my share of scares
--when a ship or plane or man was down,
and all I had were prayers.
I'm not asking for your sympathy,
(although appreciation can be nice)
I did it quite on purpose though
--I chose to sacrifice.
I'll tell you a secret now,
one you'd never guess.
About the one glory that is mine,
it's just enough no more, no less.
When you and I stand together
as our national anthem plays,
I'll fill with reminiscences
of how I spent those days.
I'll know the pain and joys again,
I'll know freedom isn't free,
I'll know I've helped to pay the price
and that the anthem plays for me."
-Elizabeth Soutter Schwarzer
Wife of a United States Marine
November 10, 2010
belly jelly.
okay... so what bothers me, is bare belly prego photos? when was that ever cute? i dont want to see your stretchmarked/ mishaped ginormous belly button about to break open butt naked belly, that's for your husband!. side photos are fine as long as they aren't super close up on your breasts and tummy and lovehandles. because let's face it, if ya got a baby belly you've got handles (usually) am i the only person who feels this way? validation, i needs it.
happy birthday US marine corps!
some of my favorite corps quotes
"Goddam it, you'll never get the Purple Heart hiding in a foxhole! Follow me!" (Captain Henry P. "Jim" Crowe, USMC, Guadalcanal, 13 January 1943.)
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference. The Marines don't have that problem."
PRESIDENT RONALD REAGAN, 1985
"Freedom isn't free, but the United States Marine Corps will pay most of your share"- President Obama 2009
"Casualties many; Percentage of dead not known; Combat efficiency; we are winning." (Colonel David M. Shoup, USMC, Tarawa, 21 November 1943.)
"We're surrounded. That simplifies the problem!"
CHESTY PULLER, USMC
"I come in peace, I didn't bring artillery. But I am pleading with you
with tears in my eyes: If you fuck with me, I'll kill you all." -Marine
General James Mattis, to Iraqi tribal leaders
"The more MARINES I have around the better I like it!"
GEN. MARK CLARK, U.S. ARMY
"I can never again see a UNITED STATES MARINE without experiencing a feeling of reverence."
GEN. JOHNSON, U.S. ARMY
"We have two companies of MARINES running all over this island and thousands of ARMY troops doing nothing!"
GEN. JOHN VESSEY, CHAIRMAN OF JOINT CHIEFS
"The safest place in Korea was right behind a platoon of MARINES. LORD, how they could fight!"
MAJ. GEN. FRANK LOWE, U.S. ARMY
"No one can say that the Marines have failed to do their work in handsome fashion."
Major General Hagood, U.S. Army
"They (Marines) have given us our only real fight." Commanding Officer of the British, War 0f 1812
"We're surrounded. That simplifies the problem!"
CHESTY PULLER, USMC
"We're not retreating, Hell! We're just attacking in a different direction!"
GEN. OLIVER SMITH, USMC
"The man who will go where his colors go without asking, who will fight a phantom foe in a jungle or a mountain range, and who will suffer and die; in the midst of incredible hardship, without complaint, is still what he has always been, from Imperial Rome to sceptered Britain to democratic America. He is the stuff of which legends are made. His pride is his colors and his regiment, his training hard and thorough and coldly realistic, to fit him for what he must face, and his obedience is to his orders. As a legionnaire, he held the gates of civilization for the classical world...today he is called United States Marine."
LTCOL FEHRENBACH, USA, in "This Kind of War"
"You cannot exaggerate about the Marines. They are convinced to the point of arrogance, that they are the most ferocious fighters on earth - and the amusing thing about it is that they are."
- Father Kevin Keaney, 1st MarDiv Chaplain, Korean War
"Goddam it, you'll never get the Purple Heart hiding in a foxhole! Follow me!" (Captain Henry P. "Jim" Crowe, USMC, Guadalcanal, 13 January 1943.)
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference. The Marines don't have that problem."
PRESIDENT RONALD REAGAN, 1985
"Freedom isn't free, but the United States Marine Corps will pay most of your share"- President Obama 2009
"Casualties many; Percentage of dead not known; Combat efficiency; we are winning." (Colonel David M. Shoup, USMC, Tarawa, 21 November 1943.)
"We're surrounded. That simplifies the problem!"
CHESTY PULLER, USMC
"I come in peace, I didn't bring artillery. But I am pleading with you
with tears in my eyes: If you fuck with me, I'll kill you all." -Marine
General James Mattis, to Iraqi tribal leaders
"The more MARINES I have around the better I like it!"
GEN. MARK CLARK, U.S. ARMY
"I can never again see a UNITED STATES MARINE without experiencing a feeling of reverence."
GEN. JOHNSON, U.S. ARMY
"We have two companies of MARINES running all over this island and thousands of ARMY troops doing nothing!"
GEN. JOHN VESSEY, CHAIRMAN OF JOINT CHIEFS
"The safest place in Korea was right behind a platoon of MARINES. LORD, how they could fight!"
MAJ. GEN. FRANK LOWE, U.S. ARMY
"No one can say that the Marines have failed to do their work in handsome fashion."
Major General Hagood, U.S. Army
"They (Marines) have given us our only real fight." Commanding Officer of the British, War 0f 1812
"We're surrounded. That simplifies the problem!"
CHESTY PULLER, USMC
"We're not retreating, Hell! We're just attacking in a different direction!"
GEN. OLIVER SMITH, USMC
"The man who will go where his colors go without asking, who will fight a phantom foe in a jungle or a mountain range, and who will suffer and die; in the midst of incredible hardship, without complaint, is still what he has always been, from Imperial Rome to sceptered Britain to democratic America. He is the stuff of which legends are made. His pride is his colors and his regiment, his training hard and thorough and coldly realistic, to fit him for what he must face, and his obedience is to his orders. As a legionnaire, he held the gates of civilization for the classical world...today he is called United States Marine."
LTCOL FEHRENBACH, USA, in "This Kind of War"
"You cannot exaggerate about the Marines. They are convinced to the point of arrogance, that they are the most ferocious fighters on earth - and the amusing thing about it is that they are."
- Father Kevin Keaney, 1st MarDiv Chaplain, Korean War
but where are the berries?
Can someone who is smart help me out a little with a question that has been bothering me?
So, we all know that organic is best right? Sometimes? Because some organic companies use tobacco for a pesticide and cover everything in it instead of chemicals right? okay, cool, just wanted to make sure we were on the same page. So, when I go to the grocery store, and I see the rows and rows of bright red tomatoes, and fluffy lettuce, and sometimes too squishy avocados and chalky grapes and especially the berry section that makes no sense to me because you could always get something super good there, or something really bad?
Anyways, my thoughts are: are they using ethanol to make the tomatoes ripe later in the year so that they can sell tomatoes all year round? what is in season? what does BEING in season mean for a rural town in Idaho where nothing grows (ironic statement of the year) but barely potatoes and everything has to be shipped from all over the place? Am I better off buying cans and frozen stuff forever? But the tomatoes are so pretty! they are! what do I do?!? AND SOME vegetables can be grown in bulk in greenhouses and I think many are (for control factors) so what does THAT mean? How does that add in? which is which and where does it all come from? I need to know people.
It's bothering me.
The tomatoes are looking stepford wifeish.
And every week it's all I can do not to buy strawberries and forget about the raspberries.
AND frozen fruit is only good in smoothies! if you let it defrost it becomes a mush of mush!
what now?
So, we all know that organic is best right? Sometimes? Because some organic companies use tobacco for a pesticide and cover everything in it instead of chemicals right? okay, cool, just wanted to make sure we were on the same page. So, when I go to the grocery store, and I see the rows and rows of bright red tomatoes, and fluffy lettuce, and sometimes too squishy avocados and chalky grapes and especially the berry section that makes no sense to me because you could always get something super good there, or something really bad?
Anyways, my thoughts are: are they using ethanol to make the tomatoes ripe later in the year so that they can sell tomatoes all year round? what is in season? what does BEING in season mean for a rural town in Idaho where nothing grows (ironic statement of the year) but barely potatoes and everything has to be shipped from all over the place? Am I better off buying cans and frozen stuff forever? But the tomatoes are so pretty! they are! what do I do?!? AND SOME vegetables can be grown in bulk in greenhouses and I think many are (for control factors) so what does THAT mean? How does that add in? which is which and where does it all come from? I need to know people.
It's bothering me.
The tomatoes are looking stepford wifeish.
And every week it's all I can do not to buy strawberries and forget about the raspberries.
AND frozen fruit is only good in smoothies! if you let it defrost it becomes a mush of mush!
what now?
November 9, 2010
ultra sounds.
i think one of my favorite things as a child to look at was the ultrasound my mom kept of me in my photo book. it was so cool to me that while i was inside my mom they could take a picture of me! it helped that the doctor drew a really lopsided smiley face on my head too. did my parents not know which part of me was my head? isn't it kind of obvious? now that i look at peanut's head i see little spots which to me are eyeballs or a brain or a nose or a mouth that wont even breath anything but amniotic fluid until it sees the sunshine. well, florescent light shine.
dash took me for a run this morning. in my bathrobe untied with my gs and rainboots. i can't say that i was just humiliated for four blocks and back. i was furious. i keep thinking that this dog is going to make me miscarry and then i'm going to kill it. even though that is irrational and completely insane, i mean it. i will take him out to the desert and shoot him with brandons' 30 odd six. i love our dog but i love this peanut way more. and if i'm running all over the foot of snow outside and i dislocate my knee it's over. i'm down. and then im alone, and wet and cold and almost naked in the snow four blocks from my house with a dog who wont listen to me without his collar on running like hell on wheels and the worst part is he knows he is being bad. he knows i'm yelling at him and then when i try to be nice he still knows. his little rogue spot on his back is standing straight up and he knows. so when we got home i put him in the closet.
am i going to be a terrible mother?
no, i am not.
this thing that tortures and humiliates me on a regular basis, mauls the neighborhood children and eats fluff and licks imaginary things including air- did not come out of my body.
thank you very very much.
part of me would miss him though.
but right now that part is very
very
very
very
small.
and maybe that part was born when i was 6 and i watched my dad drop kick a pregnant Siamese cat out of our front door.
ps can somebody PLEASE explain where CRAIGOS went? and why its being called PIZZA PIE CAFE? what?
dash took me for a run this morning. in my bathrobe untied with my gs and rainboots. i can't say that i was just humiliated for four blocks and back. i was furious. i keep thinking that this dog is going to make me miscarry and then i'm going to kill it. even though that is irrational and completely insane, i mean it. i will take him out to the desert and shoot him with brandons' 30 odd six. i love our dog but i love this peanut way more. and if i'm running all over the foot of snow outside and i dislocate my knee it's over. i'm down. and then im alone, and wet and cold and almost naked in the snow four blocks from my house with a dog who wont listen to me without his collar on running like hell on wheels and the worst part is he knows he is being bad. he knows i'm yelling at him and then when i try to be nice he still knows. his little rogue spot on his back is standing straight up and he knows. so when we got home i put him in the closet.
am i going to be a terrible mother?
no, i am not.
this thing that tortures and humiliates me on a regular basis, mauls the neighborhood children and eats fluff and licks imaginary things including air- did not come out of my body.
thank you very very much.
part of me would miss him though.
but right now that part is very
very
very
very
small.
and maybe that part was born when i was 6 and i watched my dad drop kick a pregnant Siamese cat out of our front door.
ps can somebody PLEASE explain where CRAIGOS went? and why its being called PIZZA PIE CAFE? what?
November 8, 2010
three chocolate cupcakes
so it's been several years since i had velvet cake. i worked at a bakery and we made them sometimes but- they looked pink and had rich frosting and i just avoided them for easier more delicious chocolate shaving covered other cakes that i knew exactly what i was gonna get with each bite.
until the roof. the roof is on the joseph fielding smith memorial building and it's a buffet style restaurant. even for dessert. which i love. on one of the dessert tables there was baby red velvet cupcakes with a light cream cheese frosting and a maraschino cherry on top? yeah, i ate four of them. quickly because we were leaving. they were amazing! and then i remembered why they were amazing. Velvet cake is half chocolate half vanilla. and purely delicious. however, i weaken my argument by admitting that if you put a maraschino cherry on top of a dead pigeon i would cry out with glee and eat it. One year my family went on a cruise to mexico and every night my waiter who's name was crayon- would put a bowl of maraschino cherries next to my plate. i'm not sure if it's the completely artificial coloring or the crunchy fructosy-ness of it or the stem that looks like it's been pickled but it's a delicacy of mine.
i lied about dash hating snow.
there is now four inches of white sticky stuff mushed on my steps and some happy neighborhood child has drawn hearts all over the car.
after chasing dash through the neighborhood in the freezing cold muttering about how if i fell i was going to burn him alive. i put him in the backyard where i watched him frolicking and (licking)eating as much snow as he could while leaving a big yellow streak behind him. the guy loves cold water.
too bad he doesn't like to swim. too bad he doesn't know what come here means. which is mostly admittedly my fault since i speak english and he doesn't.
Even though it is cold, there is something special about going outside in the dark with all the white stuff (if you can be warm). It's the only weather that makes you feel completely alone in a beautiful place but also connected to everyone else in a peaceful and non-intruding way. You are the perfect spectator for beauty. You can smell the wood that's just been cut burning in the houses around you bright and warm. I like that.
I also may or may not have left out a cupcake for dash to eat because i want him to die sometimes. (i didn't) I worry he's going to eat our child. He's developed a really bad jumping habit. Among a few others. I guess I can't complain much since eating four cupcakes is sort of developing a bad habit. And don't tell my sister in law sarah, but I've also decided that I like paper cupcake liners better than tinfoil ones.
note to self: if you decide to buy hanes thermals again, please don't buy large bottoms because, apparently your bottom is not large. also, if you decide to purchase a large thermal top DO because apparently you are a large top. (for an A cup?) (confusion)
fourth cupcake and then bed.
love you all. still deciding weather (hah) or not to move to utah for winter semester. still going to new york for thanksgiving. still happy to be alive and it's about time i shared with some people (the three that read my blog)some exciting news:
as if the "I'm dying because I cant eat and throw up all the time" blogging didn't totally blow that one huh? you already knew didn't you! well, I have to admit. I love this little heartbeat fish shaped baby already more than maraschino cherries. by a long shot. and I want to tell everyone! baby peanut is on the way, and look at her huge head! (it's going to be a she) (I think)
until the roof. the roof is on the joseph fielding smith memorial building and it's a buffet style restaurant. even for dessert. which i love. on one of the dessert tables there was baby red velvet cupcakes with a light cream cheese frosting and a maraschino cherry on top? yeah, i ate four of them. quickly because we were leaving. they were amazing! and then i remembered why they were amazing. Velvet cake is half chocolate half vanilla. and purely delicious. however, i weaken my argument by admitting that if you put a maraschino cherry on top of a dead pigeon i would cry out with glee and eat it. One year my family went on a cruise to mexico and every night my waiter who's name was crayon- would put a bowl of maraschino cherries next to my plate. i'm not sure if it's the completely artificial coloring or the crunchy fructosy-ness of it or the stem that looks like it's been pickled but it's a delicacy of mine.
i lied about dash hating snow.
there is now four inches of white sticky stuff mushed on my steps and some happy neighborhood child has drawn hearts all over the car.
after chasing dash through the neighborhood in the freezing cold muttering about how if i fell i was going to burn him alive. i put him in the backyard where i watched him frolicking and (licking)eating as much snow as he could while leaving a big yellow streak behind him. the guy loves cold water.
too bad he doesn't like to swim. too bad he doesn't know what come here means. which is mostly admittedly my fault since i speak english and he doesn't.
Even though it is cold, there is something special about going outside in the dark with all the white stuff (if you can be warm). It's the only weather that makes you feel completely alone in a beautiful place but also connected to everyone else in a peaceful and non-intruding way. You are the perfect spectator for beauty. You can smell the wood that's just been cut burning in the houses around you bright and warm. I like that.
I also may or may not have left out a cupcake for dash to eat because i want him to die sometimes. (i didn't) I worry he's going to eat our child. He's developed a really bad jumping habit. Among a few others. I guess I can't complain much since eating four cupcakes is sort of developing a bad habit. And don't tell my sister in law sarah, but I've also decided that I like paper cupcake liners better than tinfoil ones.
note to self: if you decide to buy hanes thermals again, please don't buy large bottoms because, apparently your bottom is not large. also, if you decide to purchase a large thermal top DO because apparently you are a large top. (for an A cup?) (confusion)
fourth cupcake and then bed.
love you all. still deciding weather (hah) or not to move to utah for winter semester. still going to new york for thanksgiving. still happy to be alive and it's about time i shared with some people (the three that read my blog)some exciting news:
as if the "I'm dying because I cant eat and throw up all the time" blogging didn't totally blow that one huh? you already knew didn't you! well, I have to admit. I love this little heartbeat fish shaped baby already more than maraschino cherries. by a long shot. and I want to tell everyone! baby peanut is on the way, and look at her huge head! (it's going to be a she) (I think)
six fifteen and a half angela drive
so remember that time when i posted stuff complaining about the neighbors upstairs? just kidding they are AWESOME. because we are maybe selling our apartment. Because we are tired of driving from utah and back all the time and i want to have our baby in utah and everyone we love lives in utah, and there's civilization in utah. and i'm tired of running into people i dont want to see ever again in my life. (okay not ever again but people i wish i didnt have to see) super Christ-like huh.
so
our basement.
wanna see what it looks like?
It is $565.00 each month (includes all utitilies (sewage,water,gas,trash) except electric which is like 50 a month in the wintercoldtime) (each room has a thermostat), my landlord is the nicest man I've ever met, he runs the homestead (the old folks living home place) here in rexburg and he curls old ladies hair and reads stories to old vets and always offers to help with anything. When we moved in we had four neighbors help us move in who didn't even know us and the ward makes me cry. Our choir sounds like the mo-tab and our primary is hilarious.
And they let us have a dog. DON'T WORRY dash has short/no hair so he didn't shed everywhere or poo anywhere in the house. or chew up anything. except a billion bones.
The basement has been remodeled so it's not yucky at all it has nice carpet and a laundry room and a storage/food closet.
we just got a brand new stove. and the apartment comes with washer and dryer but we moved in our own so i'm not sure if they still have em. you get to take care of the lawn- there is a small vegetable garden in the back and a huge plot of wild raspberries that are really mature and pull out buckets each week in the fall of the most delicious raspberries ever. i kinda got sick off eating too many.
you have your own mailbox, your own trashcan, and your own driveway. the nature park is at the end of the block and the golf course too.
the house is a little over 1,000 sq. feet. the basement has six rooms (kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, livingroom, bedroom, laundry room, storage room/closet) (so kinda seven)
Our contract was a year contract that started in July so, if you bought it from us you would be only responsible for winter semester into summer and could sell it if you didn't want to live here that long since the price is amazing and there is NOWHERE for people with pets to live in rexburg that is nice and not a pain to get into!
(you dont have to have a pet)
There would be no transfer contract fee or anything and there is a deposit but I cant remember how much it is because we had a pet deposit too. (so that they can professionally clean the carpets once we're out) (ps i am allergic to animals, all animals so- i'm serious when i say dash doesn't shed.)
so there. that is the apartment. if you know anyone looking in rexburg for next semester let me know! OH! and there is a walk in closet in the master bedroom.
The bestest part about this house besides everything
is that it has a ton of storage space, closets, the kitchen is full of cupboards, and each room is pretty big!
And anyone who knows me, knows that I have a LOT OF STUFF. I have a lot of furniture I have a lot of kitchen stuff, I have a billion clothes, and everything fits, wonderfully. so, Call me, or email me or come visit. Do whatever you want but just know that this baby is on the market.
I even painted the door bright red for you.
Love,j
so
our basement.
wanna see what it looks like?
It is $565.00 each month (includes all utitilies (sewage,water,gas,trash) except electric which is like 50 a month in the wintercoldtime) (each room has a thermostat), my landlord is the nicest man I've ever met, he runs the homestead (the old folks living home place) here in rexburg and he curls old ladies hair and reads stories to old vets and always offers to help with anything. When we moved in we had four neighbors help us move in who didn't even know us and the ward makes me cry. Our choir sounds like the mo-tab and our primary is hilarious.
And they let us have a dog. DON'T WORRY dash has short/no hair so he didn't shed everywhere or poo anywhere in the house. or chew up anything. except a billion bones.
The basement has been remodeled so it's not yucky at all it has nice carpet and a laundry room and a storage/food closet.
we just got a brand new stove. and the apartment comes with washer and dryer but we moved in our own so i'm not sure if they still have em. you get to take care of the lawn- there is a small vegetable garden in the back and a huge plot of wild raspberries that are really mature and pull out buckets each week in the fall of the most delicious raspberries ever. i kinda got sick off eating too many.
you have your own mailbox, your own trashcan, and your own driveway. the nature park is at the end of the block and the golf course too.
the house is a little over 1,000 sq. feet. the basement has six rooms (kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, livingroom, bedroom, laundry room, storage room/closet) (so kinda seven)
Our contract was a year contract that started in July so, if you bought it from us you would be only responsible for winter semester into summer and could sell it if you didn't want to live here that long since the price is amazing and there is NOWHERE for people with pets to live in rexburg that is nice and not a pain to get into!
(you dont have to have a pet)
There would be no transfer contract fee or anything and there is a deposit but I cant remember how much it is because we had a pet deposit too. (so that they can professionally clean the carpets once we're out) (ps i am allergic to animals, all animals so- i'm serious when i say dash doesn't shed.)
so there. that is the apartment. if you know anyone looking in rexburg for next semester let me know! OH! and there is a walk in closet in the master bedroom.
The bestest part about this house besides everything
is that it has a ton of storage space, closets, the kitchen is full of cupboards, and each room is pretty big!
And anyone who knows me, knows that I have a LOT OF STUFF. I have a lot of furniture I have a lot of kitchen stuff, I have a billion clothes, and everything fits, wonderfully. so, Call me, or email me or come visit. Do whatever you want but just know that this baby is on the market.
I even painted the door bright red for you.
Love,j
photographic evidence
Please ignore my dying ficus in the laundry room, and the fish tank was... fail a long time ago.
i caught this in a net down in the river in rexburg.
yes i did.
i caught this in a net down in the river in rexburg.
yes i did.
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