warmish, and where do you go when you sleep

today we woke up and i had to yell MERRY CHRISTMAS! there was like three inches of snow outside. the snowflakes look like shoppers in the mall at christmas, dodging different directions and blown about, unsure where to land. i'm hoping my strawberry plants are nice and warm under all that snow.


if these strawberries survive all they've been through it really will be a christmas miracle.

yesterday i started the book Lemon Tart by Josi S Kilpack and finished it this morning, but don't read it if you like to bake desserts because you'll find yourself at nine in the evening making chocolate chip cookies for an invisible crowd that may or may not live in your own stomach.

b is mad because it takes him three days to read 200 pages and i read almost 400 in less than one. i am not a speed reader, i just read voraciously. when i start a book that i like i almost never put it down, i don't pause, i inhale the whole thing and it's a delicious way to read. i bring books everywhere with me when i am reading. if i could read in the shower i would have figured out how to by now. (i've tried plastic bags but i ruined a few good books that way...)

today i am dying onesies! it's really really easy and sort of exciting. I was telling b that i wanted to dye them and then add different fabric touches to each one, like one with a letter on the front, one with an elephant, and then one with ruffle sleeves, one with ruffle bum etc. but he said to just leave them how they are so i might have to dye some more. :]

i am finally almost finished with my thank you cards. now i just need to get them to the people who i need to thank! (why is that the hard part?)

i just saw dash's metal drinking bowl fly up into the air past the window i'm looking out of.

the weather cannot decide weather to be sunny or snowy and i'm afraid it's trying to do both.

brandon is curled up on my right leg and i can't feel it anymore. if they amputate it's a sacrifice i am willing to make. i like watching him sleep.


i wonder if he is going to say funny things in his sleep again, i wonder where that rocketship went, or if it takes him everytime he sleeps. wouldn't that be awesome? if your dreams every night were just some form of transportation to all sorts of new places?

it would be like the phantom tollbooth. if you haven't read it, you should.

our house was 58 degrees this morning. we sleep with the windows open.

if i ever find that groundhog that said spring was here i'm gonna kill him, skin him, and feed him to dash.

then i'm going to move somewhere sunny and warmish.

do you see these?


never, ever, ever buy these cheese puffs. you will become addicted and die. or you may give birth to an orange child.

either way.

grapeful

so much for setting up a four foot fence around the strawberry patch- today i was sitting on the couch reading and out of the corner of my eye i saw chicken feet walking on top of the fence from underneath the window shades.

i knew those birds were getting into the strawberry patch somehow. i just thought they were getting through UNDER the fence.

dash plays outside with his squeeky toy, launching it into the air and then laying down in the pile of yard roots and grass like a king.

sometimes i see him out there, sprawled in every direction in the sunlight, the image of drool.

he wont drink out of the bowl that has his own spit in it.

he's too fine for that.

as a result he is probably often very thirsty.

i wouldn't want to drink out of a cup with my spit in it either...

today i am grateful for the sun, being full of salad, good conversation, gas stations, brandon being done with school, people with passion in their veins, equally for people who are boring and happy, newmans thin crust pizza, coupons, smelly car tree things, thunder, and car brakes.

charlotte's web

B has ancestors with the last name webb.

but that's not what this post is about.

this morning i woke up with that song from charlotte's web that she sings:



i'm not sure why, but i love this song (ignore the weird pictures)

and i'm also confused as to why- after probably not seeing this movie for many many many years- that this song would come into my mind.


in other words that i can understand MY BILF KIRSTEN IS COMING TO YOUTAH TODAY (she has to leave tomorrow but she has this awesome free flight pass thingy that has to be used before the 29th and she's coming HERE!!!!) i'm so excited! i haven't really seen her since b came home from afghanistan, which was weird since we were together almost every single day for the 9 months he was gone in my little yellow house.

we've decided that if our spouses die first we are just going to move in together and talk until we die.

pregnancy is weird, sometimes i feel almost normal here at the end, but lately i've been throwing up a lot again. (but only in the mornings, man if the first trimester had been like this i'd be totally fine having more kids) peanut is picky! and i'm turning into a formidable grouch because i toss and turn all night. ladies, i would pay huge money to sleep on my stomach. HUGE. but that would probably crush the child.

i've been packing my hospital bag, it is so weird to think that really grace could come any time now. i know six weeks feels like a lot to everybody else but to me it's like a blink. this last month fleeew by!

last night in the middle of the night b sat straight up and said READY?!? really loud, and i was like for what?! and he was like ARE YOU READY? FOR THE SPACESHIP?!

no. i'm not ready.

strawberry fields forever

boy, we've had a few interesting days around here...

yesterday i was sitting in the livingroom when our favorite (and first) christmas hen: little red (this is her following me around the backyard)


(she's a buff orpington: this doesn't matter to most people but you need to know that before we got the chickens i did a LOT of research on what breeds to get and our little buff is perfect and i feel smart saying it.) anyways, i heard a clunking sound and i peeked out the window to see little red on top of our rod iron fence
that lines the basement backyard staircase walking the rod like a tight rope back and forth, fluffing her feathers like the queen of sheeba. she really thought she was quite clever for getting up there and i admired her balance and agility for a while until she made...

the leap.

apparently in her sense of cocky (ha ha) security she decided to move to another side of the rod and made a big fluttering leap which resulted in her chin (do hens have chins?) (that area of her body) hitting the rod and her falling down into the bottom of the stairwell.

i seriously thought she was dead.

there was no movement from down there and so i threw on brandon's sandles and ran outside- all of the other hens had run over to see when the sound was

i peeked over the edge of the banister, hoping not to see my beloved buff orpington dead at the bottom and she was gone! she was already hopping up the stairs, crowing and looking around

and it reminded me of every single time i've done something REALLY embarrassing and hurt myself and then tried to act like nothing happened.

i knew she was embarrassed because there were four juicy HUGE worms at the bottom of that stairwell- and so it was a christmas miracle for the hen who lived from a fifteen foot drop, and for the worms who lived in spite of the chicken.

as if that wasn't enough trauma for one day for one little hen (and i have to made note that i don't watch them all day so who knows what other shenanigains these birds get into when i'm not around?)

later that day, i picked brandon up from school in our now safe car and came home. when we came into the livingroom i heard Dash,

our now not so little boxer/lab puppy, barking. Dash rarely barks, so brandon lifted up the blinds to see what his problem was- wihtout thinking, brandon lifted the backyard blinds instead of the side yard blinds because that's where the barking was coming from.

THE BARKING WAS COMING FROM THE BACK YARD


Dash, had somehow escaped his side yard confinement and was now in the back yard, with the chickens.

hopefully.

because all we saw, were FEATHERS EVERYWHERE and dash barking.

(these feathers are all still here. so if you're making pillows...)

we had just gotten home and who KNOWS how long he was out there, so b and i sprang into action- i truly thought all of my little hens were dog meat.

brandon went out and called dash who happily ran into the house- licking his lips with joy.

i was trying to get my shoes back on and locked dash in his kennel in the garage and then headed out CERTAIN that even though i was lucky enough to avoid one dead pet this morning that the backyard was now going to look like an epic battlefield of dead chickens and feathers and blood.

but when i got out there all i saw were feathers.

i kind of was relieved because then at least i wouldnt have to see the bodies of those little birds that i talk to, croon to, and collect eggs from.

but brandon was convinced the bodies were out there.

so we began a hunt- no, not for easter eggs- for the egg layers themselves. the hens.

the first two we found were diaper butt



and the pretty one (i really call them this.) they are silver wyandottes and are beautiful beautiful hens.


i was surprised we found them first because ALL of the feathers in the yard belonged to them. (all our hens are different colors/breeds except these two) they were cowering behind the stairwell and were very very distraught. but otherwise- unharmed. (good thing it is getting warmer outside because their bums were... lacking feathers.) (poor things)

the next we found was little red.
we weren't sure if she was okay because her entire body was crammed into the backyard rock wall underneath a huge rock.

in her panic, she had run straight into the first hole she could find, and then found that she couldn't get OUT of it. she was clucking and kicking, her bum was hanging out and her feet. our once proud bird was having a very very humbling day.

now the only one missing was kramer- kramer is an arucauna, and easter hen- she lays beautiful blue green eggs that are huge-

ironically, kramer is the ugliest hen we have and she is very very curious. she is last in the pecking order- the others dont allow her to eat until they've had their fill, and so she wanders kind of lost looking until it is her turn. she hops on the benches, and she has white and brown mottled feathers and a small white mustache. i call her kramer, because she makes me laugh and she is def. an oddball.


(note: if i was a chicken i would probably be kramer.)

brandon said he had checked the coop (because it was afternoon and that's when they usually lay eggs) but that kramer wasn't in there. i went and checked again and sure enough, she was smooshed up against the farthest laying box from the coop entrance, with her head buried in cedar chips. she blends right in with the chips.

i had to laugh a little 1. with relief and 2. that the youngest, ugliest, and least dominant chicken had been smart enough to hide inside the chicken coop while the others all desperately tried to survive.

the coop ramp was pushed aside, so i know dash took a visit. and i was really angry at him for a long time yesterday: but then i remembered that those birds are always teasing dash and that this dog had had his day. finally.

im just glad everyone was alive.

i dont expect any eggs this weekend. (but i did just go outside and find some eggs, ignore the ping pong ball that's just what we used to train them to lay in the boxes)



i feel like the whole experience almost put my egg into labor by itself.


longest post ever.
i'm really sorry.

but i still have to tell you about today!
today i went in to make sure i'm weighing/measuring okay
i wasn't really sure which direction grace has been facing, if she was breached or not still- and i was sorta worried that i'd been poking her in the eyeballs everytime i push whatever was jabbing into my ribs out of them.
good news! Graceelaine cochran is not breached, and what i've been poking is NOT her head, but indeed her GIANT BUM! hooray! she has mom and dad's bum! and her little head is right in my pelvis. this baby is getting ready to get here already!

i am so excited!

i am also gaining about a pound a week from here on out and expect to weigh 170 by the time she is born. PEOPLE, I COULD BE ON THE BIGGEST LOSER! just kidding, but i'm sort of terrified of that number.

that's all folks! for today, hopefully there wont be any more exciting animal stories to tell you, and i'm going to have to make a sign for the side yard that says DO NOT LET THIS DOG INTO THE BACKYARD.


MAKE SURE THE GATE IS LATCHED. so that when the meter guy comes again our birds are spared.

also; when you are pregnant: never eat an entire box of strawberries for breakfast. eat them for dessert or dinner, but not for breakfast.

just word to the wise.

that's frosted

I LOVE frosted mini wheats- but lately i'm not sure if i've become lactose intolerant with pregnancy? or something but every time i eat it, it reappears. usually quickly. (sometimes very unexpectedly and much later like in my MILs' car on the freeway) BUT i can't help it! i can't stay away! i LOVE my mini wheats! is that so wrong?

we will find out later today on...
what jacqueline throws up- gasp, or doesn't!

also, my loved ones know this because i sent them out an email around christmas time, but im seriously begging people to call me jacquelinG from now on. like ping the duck. but just ing at the end of my name. i'm unsure why this is so important to me, but it really is.

nothing rhymes with ine. so maybe that's why i want to end in ing.


also: awesomegreatfantastic news BRANDON is NOT going to Morocco with his Marines this May/June because the BABY is COMING right then. (end of may/beginning of june. hopefully. if everything goes right) and, my in laws are traveling right then to Turkey to take a wooden yacht around the greek islands or something awesome like that and so if B went to morocco, there would literally be NOBODY to drive me to the hospital to give birth to our kid.

I cried for a week when i thought about having to do that for myself.

(even though i do have a sil in american fork, i would never ask her to drop her three kids, drive 15 minutes to come get me at who knows what time in the day, and then drive all the way back to american fork to the hospital) (that's crasypants.)

dash has recently discovered that his side yard has bushes and a pile of rocks under it filled with something tasty that i have not yet seen- and so now all day i hear his head bumping against the side of the house and rocks flying everywhere as he catches something delicious.

what i cannot understand is how one dog, can be so incredibly destructive to ANY environment you put him in.
1. with people, he knocks them over
2. with dirt he digs
3. with bushes or trees he gnaws on the wood
4. with a playset, he gnaws on wood
5. poop. lots of poop
6. anything plastic that you leave out- is his new chew toy, any shoe, any object that he can lift with his face and throw in the air, is now not belong to you.
7. now rocks aren't even safe.
8. i would not be completely surprised if that dog became a poo eater out of sheer boredom for deviance.

also
i cannot understand ken garff honda, dear honda, i hate your freaking guts. if you send me a letter saying my car may or may not blow up because it's a hybrid and electric and that it's your fault and you'll fix it on safety recall- when i make an appointement two weeks in advance so that you can make arrangements for me to have a car because you are taking mine for an ENTIRE DAY- don't tell me the morning i have to come in for the service that you screwed up on, that i don't get a courtesy car and that instead a lovely shuttle is available- just for me. i have another person i have to go pick up and cart around. (b)

why can't i just be one of those mean customers who gets what they want by freaking out?! WHY?! instead i just let the stupid service guy walk all over me, sure matt- that sounds greaaat matt, oh and if i go into labor will the shuttle take me to the hospital matt? oh good- nothing sounds nicer matt. can we go pick my husband up from work too matt? he'll love that matt. oh, lay down on the ground and act like a doormatt? okay matt.

on the coup and up: coupon

I DID IT! yesterday after watching hours of extreme couponing on TLC i tried it for the first time with the (okay tons of) help from my australian friend Liz.

Liz is a masterful couponer, she has the binder, the magazines, the clipouts, the websites, and all the price matching inserts.

I cannot even begin to explain some of the deals she told me about last night as we weaved in and out of the giant (and blocked off) aisles of wal mart (don't shoot! i don't like wal mart but on tuesdays here it's where you need to be, and if you go to the pleasant grove one instead of orem is is... much more pleasant than orem. plus the cashiers know you are coming so it's less of a wrestling match and more of a checkout)

so, while it was 930pm on a tuesday, and the staff of walmart was kind of running around with their heads cut off because construction workers had blocked off most of the main walkway of the store to rip up the floor with a deafening machine, we made off like BANDITS. BANDITS PEOPLE.

I spent all afternoon clipping online coupons, i'm a noob- i don't get the sunday paper, or magazines chock full of coupons, i get billions of inserts for fast food clips and electronics and that is IT. i had a lot of work cut out for me. ha ha.

after one ink cartridge change and three leg cramps later i headed off to watch the master do her thing.

some things that may (or may not) be interesting to future coupon aspirers about walmart:

1. walmart's coupon policy: they will match ANY price in your town, so shop around before you go if you want cheap produce

2. on tuesdays, in the orem/provo/utah valley area- because Ridley's family market has begun to take double coupons on tuesdays walmart now must do the same. so any coupon you bring into the store on tuesday, your cashier will scan TWICE. (for each item)


i think that's all i know right now...
but

it was THE COOLEST EXPERIENCE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD TO WATCH MY PURCHASE OF $87.48 GO DOWN TO $44.00

that is almost half what i should have paid. and i had an entire cart full.

i only used about 15 coupons.
i only did it in one transaction.

the best deals:
a free box of herbal tea
2 packages of basmati rice for 2$
2 packages of razors 10.68 each for free
2 lbs of cheese for 3.00
3 boxes of strawberries for 1.25 each
2 bottles of comet cleaner for .68
as many cans of tomato paste as i could hold for .25

i wasn't obnoxious and my cashier loved me.

maybe.

she was a vet of coupons to say the least.

and she had almost every price match memorized in her head already.

so, dear wal mart- watch your back. i intend from now on to come to your store in the night on probably tuesdays and rob you blind!

love,
j

rose goldz

if you know me, you know that i copied my sister in her choice for rose gold as the material for her wedding ring.

brandon had my wedding ring made for me and waited DAYS to give it to me even though we knew we were already getting married so that he could plan the perfect asking situation.

it was disgusting. he was showing everyone the ring before me! i had to sit in the other room while people oohed and awhed over my bling! (thats a selfish way to put it but i really really really reallly really had no idea what it looked like. AT ALL)

that baby slipped onto my finger perfectly too, and has remained there (in spite of pregnancy worries about bloating or water weight my fingers have stayed the same and i'm thankful for the cool weather and non sausage hand, honestly if i had had any other pregnancy woes i dont think we would have more than two or three kids at the very most.)

(on a side note, i was reminded of the fact that i do not want children for another five years as i threw up butternut squash, dried apricots, and bell peppers, and then raw blood from my throat into the toilet at two in the morning last night)


so

if you know me,
you know that i HATE mixing metals! i HATE when people wear gold with silver, silver with gold, platinum with gold, black metals with gold,

and my least favorite- is rose gold with silver.

which is a terrible tragedy because that means all my jewelry from before marriage is moot! i had to kiss my tiffany's goodbye!(granted, tiffany's has come out with MUCH better rose gold options lately than there used to be like the key pendant necklace in rose gold and some really nice rose gold bands including the mesh ring which is my favorite) i can't wear them with my wedding ring becuase i go crasy! i really tried to too. the closest i can get is gold with rose gold and even then i feel uncomfortable the whole time. isn't this the strangest pet peeve you've ever heard of?! so dumb!

i cant help it! BUT

duhn duh n ah nauuuuhhhhh!!!!

ROSE GOLD is back onthe market! in every shape and form, i'm seeing it popppin up at nords and saks and ahhhh it's everywhere!

my very most coveted and lusted after item? the chunky round rose gold watch.


and i can't decide if it will ever be a justified purchase since
1. i've never worn watches because i like to wear them on my right arm and one time someone told me that was A TERRIBLE THING TO DO (why?!)
2. these watches... are seriously SERIOUSLY (some of them) almost as expensive AS MY WEDDING RING! holy moley!
3. shiny things + baby drool + baby in general = me watching the woman next to me in church trying desperately to hide her pearl necklace from her one year old son's cheerio/ripper hands.

so.

maybe i'll just get some cheapish bangles.

but drool on that!

dreams

"Loneliness does not come from being alone, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important."

carl jung

they called me mellow yellow.

sank yew

AHHH i love the rain! it is the perfect type of day to write thank you notes. you can almost feel and smell the green and the world coming back to life from a dead winter. it's just grateful weather!

on saturday mom-e and me planted the strawberries (finally! thank you!) and already they look so much happier in the ground than they did in their little plastic pink containers that were probably sucked dry of nutrients.

sometimes i wonder if choosing to be a horticulturist is what i should be doing with my life. dont get me wrong, i will always always love flowers and arranging and all the stuff that comes with it- but in order to get that degree i'm going to have to dye my thumb green figuratively speaking.

i guess i just lack that natural knack for keeping things alive once i bloom them. in the dirt. so propagation and agricultural side of my major needs some major help.

(kind of ironic? i can keep cut flowers alive forever but i can't keep a plant with roots alive)

is missing school going to get any easier with grace here?

i guess now i'm going to have to learn how to raise a baby instead of plants.

next week's goal: PEN THE CHICKENS IN their side yard. no more free ranging except in their pen. sorry chickies, but i have a lot more edibles i want to plant besides strawberries and i can't have you eating everything. as the price of oil goes up so does the food prices because of all the transportation (BUY LOCAL PEOPLE, it will be so much cheaper very soon, unless your local farmers get greedy (which, hey, it costs a LOT to run a farm well))



another goal: refrain from buying a baby chick and sticking it under little red like it's hers and seeing if the flock takes to it. you don't want a dead chick on your conscience/ get one when grace gets here so you can take pictures instead.

Nursery reveal

This week I had my BEAUTIFUL mother in town- it was AWESOME. And we finished the nursery (almost, the new rockingchair is coming... it's a glider/armchair in a grey/pewter linen that's washable) (im still not sure what we are going to do with the modern sleek one we have now, the ottoman makes it pretty comfy but i am preeettttyy certain that my buns are gonna want to be on something cushy after childbirth. just sayin)

It was a very very busy week, we sewed the windowseat cover, the crib skirt, curtains, and put together an entire cornice for the window, and that stupid ottoman cover which took forever!

we hung up my mom's gorgeous quilt that she made entirely by piecing one hand cut out hexagon to another for about a year (isn't that incredible?! she says she can't sew... that she can only quilt but i beg to differ, since sewing one stupid tube ottoman cover took me three and a half hours)

armed with screws, molly bolts, toggles, spackle, sandpaper, and my little lime green drill this is what we came up with! I am so grateful I had her here, I never could have done any of it without her!












ps. if you think that unpicking a seam builds character then honey, i am the most character-filled person in the world after this week.
i also need to make a nod in the direction of grandpa marc francis who provided the monetary support and funding for this project. grace thanks you in advance too- by kicking me.

love
j

the need to read

"The inspiring principle which alone gives me courage to write is, that of so presenting our human life as to help my readers in getting a clearer conception and a more active admiration of those vital elements which bind men together and give a higher worthiness to their existence . . . I see clearly that we ought, each of us, not to sit down and wail, but to be heroic and constructive, if possible, like the strong souls who lived before." -- George Elliot, Middlemarch

I must read this book.

one rib two rib

i think sometimes, when i'm thinking of course- that we share ribs with the people we love the most. that way they can get in our hearts easier.

also,
my ribs no longer belong to me because they are playing field for kicking practice for my little one.

and i kind of don't mind at all.

AND she has the hiccups.

i LOVE when she has the hiccups.

it's like this:

"hello, hello, hello, hello."

it's sunny outside and it's snowing lightly. at first i thought maybe pollen or petals were floating around but that's snow.

the chickens have found yet another place to hide their eggs, that i have yet to find...

the boys are eating us out of eggs!

yesterday we got the valence up and finally the baby's mobile. i can't wait to put the windowseat in today. and all week i've been working on a chenille quilt like crasy. i am exhausted and happy every day.

nursery time!

my mom is visiting this week (okay i know i've tooted my horn enough about it!) and i'm so excited! we are finishing the nursery (it's going to be a lot of work) so i'm going to give you a sneak peek of what the beginnings look like! (also, some really really really adorable baby clothes that i had when i was a baby that my mom brought up here for grace to have that kind of make me want to cry, let grace wear them once and then frame them all so she can't throw up on them) (even though i'm sure i did.) (tmi?)

okay! picture time.


this is the rocker/swivel/glider fabric and it's washable!


the mobile's temporary home until i can find a stud finder


the new lamp and a sneak peek of the gorgeous incredible amazing english paper pieced quilt my mom made for grace. it's going on her wall so she can't throw up on it.


the fabric pile for the boxed cornice, windowseat, piping, ottoman, and crib skirt


new closet handles


ottoman form


babys FIRST TUB! and the roll of windowseat foam and the carseat...


my first hospital baby hat- 6lbs 3 oz.


first BOOTIES!





crocheted easter outfit


explains lachelle's fear of clowns. this was brandon's favorite outfit.


rompers!









fluff!



and last but CERTAINLY not least, the famous red dress. this is my most favoritest thing in the whole wide world and i want to frame it for sure.