jacqueline and the no good horrible morning.

this morning, (okay it was ten thirty but still) i got locked outside my house barefoot, in my dirty gray bathrobe, phoneless.

after running through the backyard snow and mud and trying unsuckcessfully to open a window with my gardening shovel

i sat down in the side yard and started bawling.

i decided that i'd have two choices, try to break a door down, keep trying to break a window, or go sit on the driveway until somebody came to open the house by chance.

filthy, frozen, and freaking out- i gave up and tried to think of a neighbor who wouldn't laugh at me when i rang their doorbell to ask to use their phone to call one of the two numbers i have memorized in my life:
-brandons cellphone
-my mom (who was on a plane anyways and wouldn't have been able to help me)

so i ran barefoot and pregnant across the street to our relief society president's house and rang the door.

her 20 something year old son was the only one home.

he looked at me like i was some crazy bird flown in from a country that doesn't exist and let me into the house. dirty feet and all. and when i say dirty i mean MUDDY, FILTHY GROSS. caked feet.

i called brandon 60 times- today was the one day he decided to leave his cellphone in the teacher's lounge so that he could "be a good sub teacher".
phlop.
and then i tried to sundance house and got mom-e who is really sick to come to my rescue.

finally back in my house, i am determined never to leave again.

also, last year for anyone who remembers, this was the exact same week that i got locked out of my little yellow house in the same dirty gray bathrobe while brandon was in afghanistan, phoneless, sitting under a drippy stoop. except the garden tools did help me break back in through the kitchen and at least i wasn't pregnant.

brandon says this might become a yearly tradition.
i hope with my whole heart he is mistaken.

someday i'll laugh about this.