vs pretty doll
June 30, 2011
June 29, 2011
grace has got a new face
pirate smile!
and also has diaper rash and a runny knows.
and also wont sleep unless she is being held.
how does she know?!
i have no idea but i can't figure out how to sleep myself.
June 27, 2011
chrisandsarahmas!
dear blogworld,
sawwy i dissappeared for a few days (it feels like)
my brother and sister in law came to visit (chris and sarah, chrisandsarahmas in june)
and dote on little grace
and i've been doting on her blog whenever i have a spare minute i write down all the things she's been doing/ what we've been up to.
last night grace ate for two hours.
i'm not saying this isn't a comfort thing, but i was totally empty after two hours (and she wasn't just using me as a pacifier or anything, she was sucking and swallowing. for. two. hours.) and gave up and let her cry herself to sleep (that only took about five minutes but it was still the worst five minutes ever.)
i think her tummy is upset, i'm giving up milk for lent- early. (when is lent, how many years will i let go by before i find out?)
on a new note
holy hotness in utah! i can't believe that after living here so many years i am still shocked by how hot it gets. it's not just the normal hot either, it's the suck your bones dry in the desert and die hot.
b has school from eight in the morning until seven thirty at night today. that's right, seven thirty at night. i'm going to go crazy with boredom. slash grace is going to go crazy listening to me talk at her all day.
on a happy note
next week we are going up to star valley for the famous mud volleyball fourth of july showdown.
i love star valley and sort of hope we end up there, it is so gorgeous, the people are super friendly, and there is a ton of land, and water is free.
then mom is coming up to bring the heffe to efy and staying for a week of glorious blissfulness where i get fed, and she loves on me and grace all day.
then it's b and me's 2 year anniversary and then my birthday and then b's and then grace's baby blessing and then we go to california-home to stay in the guesthouse and be loved on all day for a week plus and live by the pool (most importantly- fit in a swimsuit) and eat glorious food, and go to the beach and play with grace and relax.
it's going to be a good summer people.
on a serious note.
celebrate the people you know and love. often. yesterday we tried to go to sacrament meeting (g and me) and she stared up into my face/ slept in my arms for most of the time, but i got the impression of how important it is to cherish her completely in this moment of her life. i was totally overwhelmed with love for this little girl, it's amazing to see how even though sometimes i have no idea what to do for her, on the other hand sometimes i am exactly what she needs. and it's a lovely thing to be needed by somebody. to have someone who smiles every time they see you, and can fall asleep in your arms. somebody who depends entirely on you to keep them safe, someone who trusts you. someone who will turn towards you if they hear your voice, and nuzzle into you when you hold them.
it's really a miracle to me.
sawwy i dissappeared for a few days (it feels like)
my brother and sister in law came to visit (chris and sarah, chrisandsarahmas in june)
and dote on little grace
and i've been doting on her blog whenever i have a spare minute i write down all the things she's been doing/ what we've been up to.
last night grace ate for two hours.
i'm not saying this isn't a comfort thing, but i was totally empty after two hours (and she wasn't just using me as a pacifier or anything, she was sucking and swallowing. for. two. hours.) and gave up and let her cry herself to sleep (that only took about five minutes but it was still the worst five minutes ever.)
i think her tummy is upset, i'm giving up milk for lent- early. (when is lent, how many years will i let go by before i find out?)
on a new note
holy hotness in utah! i can't believe that after living here so many years i am still shocked by how hot it gets. it's not just the normal hot either, it's the suck your bones dry in the desert and die hot.
b has school from eight in the morning until seven thirty at night today. that's right, seven thirty at night. i'm going to go crazy with boredom. slash grace is going to go crazy listening to me talk at her all day.
on a happy note
next week we are going up to star valley for the famous mud volleyball fourth of july showdown.
i love star valley and sort of hope we end up there, it is so gorgeous, the people are super friendly, and there is a ton of land, and water is free.
then mom is coming up to bring the heffe to efy and staying for a week of glorious blissfulness where i get fed, and she loves on me and grace all day.
then it's b and me's 2 year anniversary and then my birthday and then b's and then grace's baby blessing and then we go to california-home to stay in the guesthouse and be loved on all day for a week plus and live by the pool (most importantly- fit in a swimsuit) and eat glorious food, and go to the beach and play with grace and relax.
it's going to be a good summer people.
on a serious note.
celebrate the people you know and love. often. yesterday we tried to go to sacrament meeting (g and me) and she stared up into my face/ slept in my arms for most of the time, but i got the impression of how important it is to cherish her completely in this moment of her life. i was totally overwhelmed with love for this little girl, it's amazing to see how even though sometimes i have no idea what to do for her, on the other hand sometimes i am exactly what she needs. and it's a lovely thing to be needed by somebody. to have someone who smiles every time they see you, and can fall asleep in your arms. somebody who depends entirely on you to keep them safe, someone who trusts you. someone who will turn towards you if they hear your voice, and nuzzle into you when you hold them.
it's really a miracle to me.
June 24, 2011
June 23, 2011
june showers
it's been three days.
i finally showered.
i admit this like it was some sort of masterful plan that i've had all along but in truth i'm kind of really repulsed.
b and me finally gave in and got a costco membership, which has begun blessing our lives (and bills) with a deep freezer for 170 dollars and a ton of food.
(our freezer is tiny so we got a separate one)
spell check asks me if i want to change separate to desperate. and honestly that was the food situation.
maybe i just needed to better clean out the freezer.
how to people live with just one fridge/freezer?
multiply and replenish the fridge.
grace must be on a growing spree because she wants to eat every hour almost.
which is fine with me because she sleeps so good.
plus her little head needs to get bigger- it's only in the 23rd percentile.
oop she's passed out, got to run.
advice to all mothers: balance is key, shower is good.
sleep is best, and stay away from cows' milk, but be the milk.
yadig?
ps i started a blog where i just write letters to grace. when she grows up all big and beautiful and wants to hear about when she was a baby she can read the dear grace diaries.
b thought of it and i stole it and someday it'll be grace's.
goodnight world.
i finally showered.
i admit this like it was some sort of masterful plan that i've had all along but in truth i'm kind of really repulsed.
b and me finally gave in and got a costco membership, which has begun blessing our lives (and bills) with a deep freezer for 170 dollars and a ton of food.
(our freezer is tiny so we got a separate one)
spell check asks me if i want to change separate to desperate. and honestly that was the food situation.
maybe i just needed to better clean out the freezer.
how to people live with just one fridge/freezer?
multiply and replenish the fridge.
grace must be on a growing spree because she wants to eat every hour almost.
which is fine with me because she sleeps so good.
plus her little head needs to get bigger- it's only in the 23rd percentile.
oop she's passed out, got to run.
advice to all mothers: balance is key, shower is good.
sleep is best, and stay away from cows' milk, but be the milk.
yadig?
ps i started a blog where i just write letters to grace. when she grows up all big and beautiful and wants to hear about when she was a baby she can read the dear grace diaries.
b thought of it and i stole it and someday it'll be grace's.
goodnight world.
June 18, 2011
June 17, 2011
June 16, 2011
you probably deserved that
breastfeeding is like having a migraine headache in your boobs constantly.
maybe that's just me.
every day i sit and stare at this person in wonder, my knee is the size of her head, my thigh is the size of her whole body! her foot is the size of brandon's thumb. but already she is growing so fast.
its crazy to think she will grow up to be a whole adult person. with developed feelings, opinions and preferences. i am in awe everyday as i see some of these things develop naturally, the way she responds to my and b's voices, and grandma's voice over ichat. the way she smiles and nuzzles, the way she wiggles, holds her hands- and favors her left hand. the way she likes her feet rubbed with lotion and becomes very still when brandon speaks from another room. now, (as of today at least) the way she hates being on her tummy and flips over. the way she tries to flip back onto her tummy to get closer to me while we lay on the ground. the way she lifts her head up to listen to brandon while she lays on my chest. it's just a miracle.
she's grown almost out of her newborn diapers- even though newborn clothes are the only thing she fits into and they are still baggy and big on her. i'm sort of bummed because everybody tells you to buy bigger stuff (and i guess they are right because as the baby grows she will stay in the biggger sizes for a longer amount of time) but now i feel like she cant wear all her cute things because they are HUGE on her! all im saying is i cant wait for 3-6 months. the cutest.
i am trying unsuccessfully to keep grace awake during a feeding.
oh well.
time for bed!
goodnight world.
maybe that's just me.
every day i sit and stare at this person in wonder, my knee is the size of her head, my thigh is the size of her whole body! her foot is the size of brandon's thumb. but already she is growing so fast.
its crazy to think she will grow up to be a whole adult person. with developed feelings, opinions and preferences. i am in awe everyday as i see some of these things develop naturally, the way she responds to my and b's voices, and grandma's voice over ichat. the way she smiles and nuzzles, the way she wiggles, holds her hands- and favors her left hand. the way she likes her feet rubbed with lotion and becomes very still when brandon speaks from another room. now, (as of today at least) the way she hates being on her tummy and flips over. the way she tries to flip back onto her tummy to get closer to me while we lay on the ground. the way she lifts her head up to listen to brandon while she lays on my chest. it's just a miracle.
she's grown almost out of her newborn diapers- even though newborn clothes are the only thing she fits into and they are still baggy and big on her. i'm sort of bummed because everybody tells you to buy bigger stuff (and i guess they are right because as the baby grows she will stay in the biggger sizes for a longer amount of time) but now i feel like she cant wear all her cute things because they are HUGE on her! all im saying is i cant wait for 3-6 months. the cutest.
i am trying unsuccessfully to keep grace awake during a feeding.
oh well.
time for bed!
goodnight world.
June 15, 2011
four! wait, no... twoooo!
scratch the every four hour feedings. tonight grace put me back at every two two. oh well. she's a growing. also, little wheezy: stretching while drinking milk is a bad idea. love, mother.
June 14, 2011
bigg...er news
grace had her first docs appointment today!
her doctor's name is Wise.
and she sort of kind of loved him- and who wouldnt, he spent an hour telling her how perfect she was. if every woman had a little doctor man to tell them that!
(okay one who didnt want an affair with them)
(the nurse.... she didnt like so much.)
grace was born 7 pounds 8 oz, and has gained some chunk! she now weighs 8 pounds 3 oz and is a half an inch longer.
apparently wheezing and congestion in general are common in newborns
the BEST news of all is i'm allowed to let her sleep up to 4 hours between feeds! so i am typing this to you from the incredibly refreshed sleepy brain of moi.
also! more good news: for new babys mamas, if your baby's umbilical cord stump falls off relatively quickly and then bleeds for a week or so dont be alarmed (unless of course, there's infection, heat or swelling there whih is usually accompanied by a fever in the baby) your child's insides are NOT falling out! it's "residual cord" pushing itself out. phew.
because b and me got her the best insides we could afford.
it'd be a shame to lose them just because of a belly mishap.
just kidding.
b always says stuff like that: oh, be careful with her head it was the nicest one they had.
and it is.
i think every parent feels this way about they're kid
barring the tot mom killer whatever her face name is.
welp, i better finish this feeding, this post and ride the happy four hour train back to zzzland. grace is already almost there the little wheezy.
that's her new nickname
little wheezy.
and if taking a picture wasnt so risque id show you her hand is seriously thug life and a peace sign right now.
her doctor's name is Wise.
and she sort of kind of loved him- and who wouldnt, he spent an hour telling her how perfect she was. if every woman had a little doctor man to tell them that!
(okay one who didnt want an affair with them)
(the nurse.... she didnt like so much.)
grace was born 7 pounds 8 oz, and has gained some chunk! she now weighs 8 pounds 3 oz and is a half an inch longer.
apparently wheezing and congestion in general are common in newborns
the BEST news of all is i'm allowed to let her sleep up to 4 hours between feeds! so i am typing this to you from the incredibly refreshed sleepy brain of moi.
also! more good news: for new babys mamas, if your baby's umbilical cord stump falls off relatively quickly and then bleeds for a week or so dont be alarmed (unless of course, there's infection, heat or swelling there whih is usually accompanied by a fever in the baby) your child's insides are NOT falling out! it's "residual cord" pushing itself out. phew.
because b and me got her the best insides we could afford.
it'd be a shame to lose them just because of a belly mishap.
just kidding.
b always says stuff like that: oh, be careful with her head it was the nicest one they had.
and it is.
i think every parent feels this way about they're kid
barring the tot mom killer whatever her face name is.
welp, i better finish this feeding, this post and ride the happy four hour train back to zzzland. grace is already almost there the little wheezy.
that's her new nickname
little wheezy.
and if taking a picture wasnt so risque id show you her hand is seriously thug life and a peace sign right now.
June 13, 2011
3:11 am
after a rigorous bout of hiccups grace elaine has decided to let me hear her laugh.
it was just an AHA I GOT YOU laugh, like the kind where you chuckle after an ordeal.
like, "take THAT hiccups!
you'll never get the best of me." kind of laugh.
almost like a breath, a sigh of relief. but there was definitely a giggle in there.
so, besides the fact that i do get slap happy when i'm exhausted, i am really honestly sincerely overjoyed.
now she is squirming and grunting in her crib, i'm trying to help her help herself to sleep.
when i hold her she just cries because she knows i'm the food and she spat half of her ... second dinner (?) up already.
and i suspect hiccups aren't the only gas she has in her little body.
i'm so glad i can't remember being that small.
it must be very tough.
it was just an AHA I GOT YOU laugh, like the kind where you chuckle after an ordeal.
like, "take THAT hiccups!
you'll never get the best of me." kind of laugh.
almost like a breath, a sigh of relief. but there was definitely a giggle in there.
so, besides the fact that i do get slap happy when i'm exhausted, i am really honestly sincerely overjoyed.
now she is squirming and grunting in her crib, i'm trying to help her help herself to sleep.
when i hold her she just cries because she knows i'm the food and she spat half of her ... second dinner (?) up already.
and i suspect hiccups aren't the only gas she has in her little body.
i'm so glad i can't remember being that small.
it must be very tough.
June 12, 2011
social security
grace's social security card came in the mail!
it's so strange to think that she has one and cannot even sign it yet.
and she is two weeks old! that's almost half a month!
i know i'm just going to blink and she will be three years old already.
what am i going to do then?!
here she is on our sunday nap- squished eyeball up against a pillow.
i wish she could sleep with us always, but it's too dangerous.
i'm still not used to being allowed to sleep on my back or tummy, and since the epidural my left bum cheek has just been numb. also that could be due to sitting every two hours to feed in the same chair. not sure yet.
also, in great news that all men don't want to know about- at least one of my episiotomys is healed! wahoo.
b thinks i've been indulging myself a little too frequently in skinny cow ice cream sandwhiches but i insist that it's part of the recovery program.
the mint chocolate ones are divine.
i've lost 27 pregnancy pounds altogether and i still have about 20 plus to go.
grace has her first doc appointment tomorrow, i'm nervous and excited and i have way too many questions.
i hope she's gained weight and to find out if we can start letting her sleep and wake us up for feedings instead of every two to three hours because that's really starting to hurt my brain/hormones.
i hope her wheezing is due to milk stuck in her little nose passages and not a cold or anything serious. because the wheezing makes me super super super mom-nervous.
today star trek made me cry (the beginning IS sad though, because the mom is giving birth and she watches her husband die! i cant even imagine doing that. birth was relatively easy for me (except the six hours in triage in early labor bleeding everywhere) with the epidural and i had brandon there. brandon was very helpful during the movie by reminding me that it WAS just a movie) but still. pretty pathetic.
something strange about pregnancy for me- i didn't get stretch marks on my stomach until two days before i gave birth, and i got them only on the right side of my belly button just below. weird huh?
okay TMI sunday is over.
it's so strange to think that she has one and cannot even sign it yet.
and she is two weeks old! that's almost half a month!
i know i'm just going to blink and she will be three years old already.
what am i going to do then?!
here she is on our sunday nap- squished eyeball up against a pillow.
i wish she could sleep with us always, but it's too dangerous.
i'm still not used to being allowed to sleep on my back or tummy, and since the epidural my left bum cheek has just been numb. also that could be due to sitting every two hours to feed in the same chair. not sure yet.
also, in great news that all men don't want to know about- at least one of my episiotomys is healed! wahoo.
b thinks i've been indulging myself a little too frequently in skinny cow ice cream sandwhiches but i insist that it's part of the recovery program.
the mint chocolate ones are divine.
i've lost 27 pregnancy pounds altogether and i still have about 20 plus to go.
grace has her first doc appointment tomorrow, i'm nervous and excited and i have way too many questions.
i hope she's gained weight and to find out if we can start letting her sleep and wake us up for feedings instead of every two to three hours because that's really starting to hurt my brain/hormones.
i hope her wheezing is due to milk stuck in her little nose passages and not a cold or anything serious. because the wheezing makes me super super super mom-nervous.
today star trek made me cry (the beginning IS sad though, because the mom is giving birth and she watches her husband die! i cant even imagine doing that. birth was relatively easy for me (except the six hours in triage in early labor bleeding everywhere) with the epidural and i had brandon there. brandon was very helpful during the movie by reminding me that it WAS just a movie) but still. pretty pathetic.
something strange about pregnancy for me- i didn't get stretch marks on my stomach until two days before i gave birth, and i got them only on the right side of my belly button just below. weird huh?
okay TMI sunday is over.
June 11, 2011
hidden treasures
"erugh pooh got everywhere."
after grace was born, we noticed really quickly that she has her dad's digestive system. this might be TMI for most of you but i have to write this down so i dont forget it because
1. i think it's hilarious
2. i am crying because i was laughing so hard
brandon just took his turn at pooh duty, grace was waking up from a nap.
i forgot the baby monitor was on and all i can hear are sounds of grace farting, brandon saying "oh no... oh no!"
"eugh!"
"AHHHH!"
"can you HEAR this?!"
and then "she's peeing! it wont stop!"
just treasuring the times folks.
after grace was born, we noticed really quickly that she has her dad's digestive system. this might be TMI for most of you but i have to write this down so i dont forget it because
1. i think it's hilarious
2. i am crying because i was laughing so hard
brandon just took his turn at pooh duty, grace was waking up from a nap.
i forgot the baby monitor was on and all i can hear are sounds of grace farting, brandon saying "oh no... oh no!"
"eugh!"
"AHHHH!"
"can you HEAR this?!"
and then "she's peeing! it wont stop!"
just treasuring the times folks.
who's who
does that baby look like anyone you know? that is brandon's older sister alison! we hope grace looks like her! because look how cute she turned out to be...
(do all newborns look alike in a family?)
brandon wasnt born yet but i think he looks an awful lot like his dad with a beard...
b and me were talking and we think that if you go wayyy back into family history you'll always be surprised by who you look like.
June 10, 2011
little love neck!
we took a nap today!
aka grace took a nap while mom drifted in and out of consciousness because she was afraid of suffocation by large blanket/ squishing the grace.
we are long due for a spongebath (since grace's belly stump fell off too early and has been bleeding we're not doing normal baths until that stops, brandon thinks at her first docs appointment the doc will sew her up... ouchie) but the oils from grace's head are doing magical sparkling things for the cowlicks on top of her head :]
brandons back from helpin nate move 700 boxes of baby carriers for dad holy moley!
got to run!
June 8, 2011
yeah, i'm lactating.
i may or may not have begun a terrible routine... grace cannot fall asleep unless she is being held. so the trick is to get her into a huge milk coma and rock her asleep so that she is out cold and THEN put her in the crib-
also i gave in a gave her the pacifier... which has created a new set of problems since she can't hold the thing in her mouth by herself for very long.
future mothers be ware.
so the little peanut is asleep next to me in the bed lookin a little yellow today.
she knows who's in charge (she is)
.
i wanted to do a non-graceish post today beginning with the fact that i found a giant heart shaped grape nut flake in my cereal bowl this morning so i'm feeling like today is going to be a good day even though right now i should be taking advantage of the comatoasted baby and sleep? especially since last night was really tough. not for me- our baby monitor died in the middle of the night, and my phone alarm didn't wake me up for one of grace's feedings and it was a disaster. our bedroom is located on an addition to the house, and because it's on the very far side, we dont hear ANY noise from the original side. since grace's bedroom is on the original side, i didn't hear her screaming for anywhere from an hour to a minute when brandon woke up and said "the baby is screaming!" and i flew out of bed and ran.
needless to say i felt like the worst mom ever- her feeding was an hour past, and she'd already been waiting for three hours. it took me a while to calm her down and assure her that i wouldnt fail again...
at the next feeding i only waited two hours, and she smiled the entire time- so i took it i was forgiven.
but still.
this post REALLY was going to be about anything but grace. in fact, here are two things that are non graceist.
one: this incredible hotel. yes it is a floating house. yes you sleep underneath it in a room that is windows, yes it is in the sweeeeden area in the water somewhere and y es i really want to go to there. (VIA cup of jo)
two: this incredible hotel. yes it is in Sicily, yes those water slides go into the Mediterranean, yes i want to go to there and slide so much that i have burns on my bottom. (VIA again, cup of jo) (also, once you have a baby doesn't mean you grow up faster...unfortunately.)
okay now im gonna end with grace since i'm religiously devoted to her.
(jk)
(ps i know it looks like all grace does is sleep, but its seriously hard to get a photo while she is awake because she wiggles like a wet noodle and i dont want to drop her. the end)
also i gave in a gave her the pacifier... which has created a new set of problems since she can't hold the thing in her mouth by herself for very long.
future mothers be ware.
so the little peanut is asleep next to me in the bed lookin a little yellow today.
she knows who's in charge (she is)
.
i wanted to do a non-graceish post today beginning with the fact that i found a giant heart shaped grape nut flake in my cereal bowl this morning so i'm feeling like today is going to be a good day even though right now i should be taking advantage of the comatoasted baby and sleep? especially since last night was really tough. not for me- our baby monitor died in the middle of the night, and my phone alarm didn't wake me up for one of grace's feedings and it was a disaster. our bedroom is located on an addition to the house, and because it's on the very far side, we dont hear ANY noise from the original side. since grace's bedroom is on the original side, i didn't hear her screaming for anywhere from an hour to a minute when brandon woke up and said "the baby is screaming!" and i flew out of bed and ran.
needless to say i felt like the worst mom ever- her feeding was an hour past, and she'd already been waiting for three hours. it took me a while to calm her down and assure her that i wouldnt fail again...
at the next feeding i only waited two hours, and she smiled the entire time- so i took it i was forgiven.
but still.
this post REALLY was going to be about anything but grace. in fact, here are two things that are non graceist.
one: this incredible hotel. yes it is a floating house. yes you sleep underneath it in a room that is windows, yes it is in the sweeeeden area in the water somewhere and y es i really want to go to there. (VIA cup of jo)
two: this incredible hotel. yes it is in Sicily, yes those water slides go into the Mediterranean, yes i want to go to there and slide so much that i have burns on my bottom. (VIA again, cup of jo) (also, once you have a baby doesn't mean you grow up faster...unfortunately.)
okay now im gonna end with grace since i'm religiously devoted to her.
(jk)
(ps i know it looks like all grace does is sleep, but its seriously hard to get a photo while she is awake because she wiggles like a wet noodle and i dont want to drop her. the end)
June 7, 2011
sometime the birth story
but for now, photos with grama!
so, i know in most of her photos she looks like a chunk, but grace is a little tiny! if i could show you her neck you'd agree- but for now it's hidden under her head. i can't beleive how fast the babies around me have grown in the past year and i know i need to just cherish every second i get with this newborn. we've changed our night feedings to three hour tours so that i can get some more zzz'z and grace is doing much better with that too! i need to video her waking up because it's sort of hilarious. there is a visible reaction to "where am i?" and the focus and concentration it takes to wake up from a good milk coma is entertaining. at least, to me.
i tried to do her hair last night at 3 while she was eating... so i apologize to future grace for the pitiful state her head is in the movie with grandma. isn't she so sweet?! see what i mean about the conducting a symphony?
June 5, 2011
grandma an me
so, since i've declared to my family that i'm limiting all the photo and video emails to once a week so that i dont over grace everyone with grace! (for me, and my mom and brandon that's just not possible yet so i'm pretty much taking over this blog with graceness for people who want to see her at THEIR own pace...) :]
grace is the sweetest soul ever.
i feel overwhelmed by the blessing she is in my life already, and even though i'm a complete zombie and in dire need of some zzz'z, i feel like every moment i can spend with or near or watching her is well worth it.
grace is the sweetest soul ever.
i feel overwhelmed by the blessing she is in my life already, and even though i'm a complete zombie and in dire need of some zzz'z, i feel like every moment i can spend with or near or watching her is well worth it.
June 2, 2011
bathtimez!
i know i posted a terrible sad screaming bath picture on facebook, but in truth the majority of the bathtime went splashingly!
she loved it.
she changes so much everyday, sometimes i look at her and i see exact features that i have but then much of the time i look at her and see everything from brandon, even in her mannerisms.
when she is sleeping she moves both her arms around and around ( which is why we have to swaddle her like a crazy person so that she wont wake herself up constantly) like she is conducting some unseen orchestra.
i am totally in love and completely obsessed with this person.
i swore i'd never be one of those people who kissed their baby on the mouth but people, she has the cutest little mouth in the whole world and after she eats she gets this grin on her face and i have to kiss her.
dont worry, i still wont be one of those parents who kisses full on the mouth when the child is like 12.
it's three in the morning! i need to go back to bed because i'll be up again before i know it to feed the girl.
today was really hard for me, i had a breakdown at around 9pm because i'm worried about her jaundice, my poor once small breasts are cracking and bleeding and engorged and i thought for a small time that i was going to die or explode and when my manual pump came back empty with blood all over the top i sort of gave up hope since the manual pump was my only friend today, grace keeps falling asleep during meals, i can't keep her awake for more than two minutes even if i strip her down to her shivering yellow skin! and after you have a baby, your stomach is stretched out, and mine is still stretched very big and it's very embarrassing. i mean, i knew my body wouldn't be the same after delivery, but i have friends who just had babies and they aren't this big. i know it will take time and patience, but i was really looking forward to wearing a giant box of new clothes that i got and with the exception of boyfriend jeans and a pair of cute sandals (thank you feet for not changing) the rest of the box will have to wait. unless i want to just wear the cardboard box, which i seriously considered.
so for now, lots of walks for me and baby g. and time.
and in the meantime, i will dote unconditionally on this little peanut.
and you all have to listen!
sorry.
love
j
June 1, 2011
it's the small victories
yaaaaay breastfed for 20 minutes almost straight! and it didn't hurt this time so bad because i took my medicine!
also i know it's weird but lately i've caught myself calling grace "french fry" which was my childhood nickname. she is a little yellow french fry! although this edition is delux.
now i am scarfing down a huge breakfast and trying to get things done before that french fry wakes up.
bises!
also i know it's weird but lately i've caught myself calling grace "french fry" which was my childhood nickname. she is a little yellow french fry! although this edition is delux.
now i am scarfing down a huge breakfast and trying to get things done before that french fry wakes up.
bises!
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