duckblur.

how i miss ducktales.



it's a "duck-blur"

sleep, it's totally unnecessesary

like these things that i want/love.





also,
here are my garden signs i made last week.
i probably lost a few brain cells coating them with lacquer but it was tote worth it!







so from the front they say their latin names and from the back on the street side you can see their english terms

to make em you just get a ton of mini chalk boards, paint them orange, write on the chalkboard with white paint pen and the back with green paint sharpie and then lacquer them like mad! (with a UV clear acrylic spray)\

butter up!

Today, in efforts to distract myself and in preparation to brandon's return home (and to add to my jam collection in the freezer) I am making some organic butter.

Normally I would never undertake anything so crafty in the kitchen (as I am known to lead normal recipe's to culinary disasterpieces within hours, while stringing behind a kitchen full of casualties.)

BUT this is EASY.

Recently (because brandon's been getting his hobby farm magazine) I subscribed to organic gardening (which is fabulous and amazing and awesome for anyone who is remotely interested in plants or animals or food.

Inside the feb.march issue is a recipe for homemade butter and some ideas for spiced butters, cheese butters, dessert and fruit butters and much more.

All you need is:

(for best results)
Organic cream with a butterfat content of at LEAST 35%
(one quart of cream will yield you one pound of butter plus two cups of buttermilk)
(which is great to cook with)

Most organic creams and heavy whipping creams work well.

AND an electric mixer.

and an appetite for good butter.

Pour the cream into a bowl and set the mixer on medium speed, and begin to blend as if making whipped cream.

The cream transforms first into fluffy cream "pillows" and then stiff peaks.

these break down into soft cottagecheeseylike curds as blog of butterfat seperate from the milk.

the butter begins to stiffen and clump together and the watery milk pools in the bottom of the bowl.

THIS SHOULD TAKE YOU ABOUT 10 MINUTES (WHAAAT AWESOME)

at this point, stop the mixer, carefully pour off as much milk as possible and refridgerate it.

Use a rubber or stiff metal spatula to press the butter to squeeze out as much of the liquid as possible.

Add about 1/2 cup of ice water
to the cutter and use the spatula to kinda rinse the butter, pushing all the liquid out and repeating (with fresh ice water each time) until the water is nearly clear.

This is called "washing" and it will keep the butter from spoiling.

Continue kneading the butter against the side of the bowl until all the liquid has been pressed out. You can salt the butter and freeze it or you can wait until you USE the butter to salt it (preferred)

I would invest in some sea salt, the flavor is really strong so you only need a little bit and you can mix it in or just leave it on top.

Pack the butter in containers and cover.
wrapping the butter in parchment paper looks nice PLUS the butter WONT STICK to parchment as it does to plastic wrap.

For storing first wrap in parchment, then foil to make it airtight.

The butter will keep for up to one week in the fridge or SIX MONTHS if it's frozen (so be sure to date your foil wrapping)

AWESOME HUH?!
I'll let you know how mine tastes...


<3

ps some compound butter additions you can put in your organic mix are

-lemon zest and snipped parsley
-snipped fresh thai basil, chopped garlic and chopped, drained pickled ginger
-crumbled feta cheese and chopped kalamata olives
-grated parmesan cheese and fresh basil
-ginger and sesame oil
-cilantro, lime zest and asian hot sauce.
-coarsley ground black pepper and sea salt
--orange zest, chopped fresh or dried cranberries and fresh sage
-chopped pecans and honey
-orange zest, maple syrup and blueberries


YUM!
these make great gifts and you can add fresh and dried fruits into the softened butter too.

post note:

I DID make this today, and it turned out fabulous! BUT here are some important after-thought-tips.

1. try to buy an organic or heavy whipping cream- if the cows were GRASS fed, the butter will be YELLOW naturally because of the chemical process that occurs in grass fed cows. (grass is better for cows than corn because they are grassland animals... they were never meant to eat corn and the only reason all the cows we have now (almost) are (force) fed corn is because it is CHEAP and convenient for the farmer. which is ridiculous. (soorry getting off my soapbox.)

2. i couldn't figure out the milkfat content of the whipping cream i bought, but it turned out alright anyhow- if anyone knows how to tell the milkfat content (i looked on the ingredients and stuff but nothing was labled as such) let me know! (i think i learned this in women's health once upon a yor but i forgot. because im an old soul. :]

3. i own a cuisineart mixer which (to my idea) does not have a "medium" setting. the thing just goes from out of control to out of controller.
so, if you have a modern mixer, prepare to have cream "whipped" all over your kitchen (which you may or may not have just cleaned for brandon's homecomming. so much for that) (phew) and all over yourself. THE TIME IS NOT 10 MINUTES, IT TOOK ME 20 MINUTES AT LEAST. but DONT GIVE UP. keep going until the buttermilk begins to seperate from the butter, you will see it happen because (the butter will get distinctly yellow-er) the milk liquid will fly up into your face as you peer closely at the bowl! (maybe you are smarter than i am...)

4. prepare a LOT of ice water, to wash this stuff takes a while and try to use a METAL spatula because the rubber ones aren't hard enough to press out all the liquid. i even took some in my hands and squeezed out the very last bit. the butter gets hard and it is AWESOME.

5. you might want to buy some parchment AND string- because duct tape and tape and any other form of stickyness you generally have around the house doesnt really work since parchment paper is A NO STICK paper.
dughr.

the end!
i had some toast with sea salt and the homemade butter and my strawberry jam after and it was VERY rewarding.

my thighs are calling out for an encore.

brandon's response to my morning.

Dear Bath[robber}


I'm sorry but that is the the funniest thing I have heard since I got caught with toilet paper hanging out of my pants. What a pair we are. perfect. I wish I could have been there to take care of you, although, you know it would had taken just as long for you to get back in the house with me inside as it would with me in afghanistan.

don't cry


be happy!

Last rumor I heard was that our plane leaves at 8am tomorrow morning. So I'm guessing we'll be arriving early afternoon to evening on the....25th??


i love you

right me all the time

if you want

ice baths. are not good for you.

this is my story.

this morning i got a text that said it was snowing.

i leapt out of bed

threw on a bathrobe over my g's

put on rainboots,
got my keys

marched straight for the back door and out it
and shut it behind me locked.


out.


outside in the pouring slushing freezing snow,
without a cellphone


i covered up my plants

came back to try the door because this must be a dream

and thought of all the people who dont have keys,
dont have my landlords number
memorized including me.

and dont have cellphones.

so i decided to try to break in

folks, if you thought it was hard breaking into a 21st century home,

try breaking into one built in the 50's

they are rock solid.
that
and i made sure there were screws in every single window
because im a parnoid freak.


needless to say, i noticed a log underneath my kitchen window


and with the broken gutter spilling ice water onto my head
i begged that old window open with my weeding fork.


for a half an hour.

shameless,
and frozen

in my gs
and bathrobe
and boots,

i climbed up onto my recycling bin
and threw myself into the kitchen sink

bawling
and hammered the window shut when i was finished.

i wish i wasnt alone anymore.


goodmorning monday.
i hate you.

loose lips

i want the words "loose lips sink ships" tattooed into my lips.

im just kidding but i seriously need to change my mantra to that.

for many reasons.


yesterday was my last day at work with the fidlers. sophie and gannon fell asleep on me and it was really sweet.

especially the drool from gannon on my leg.

but i love them very much and i'm going to miss them.




now i am going to get off the computer and go live my life so i can blog about it more.

just kidding but some days it feels like that when you have no one to talk to.
but then again, i just discussed no more talking. no more loose lips.
i am a walking oxymoron.
as i sit and type.

tacky the tactful penguin.

last week my niece (AHHH I HAVE A NIECE!) (ISN'T THAT NICE?) was in her first school play (i think...) she was the "perfect penguin" in the show tacky the penguin. it was wonderful and she was awesome here are some photos. I love my new family!

;la al la la la;

so,
this was just a thought i had today.


i just want to get back to plants. some days it feels like people are the ones who like to live in the dirt.



this thought wasn't even about anyone specifically. i just thought it.

i need to be more positive.

on that side,

i found a patch of mini rhenuculas on the side of the house next to some forget me nots and i made a pretty arrangement for rickity table.
if i don't open my windows i feel like i'm in england.

i made a bean pole trellace yesterday.
it was my first one so give me a litttle break.

but everything is growing! it's fantastic!
and just to show you i AM going outside in my balloon animal pajammas and taking pictures.

yes, i am.

so here are some pretty things in my life that i am grateful for:



failures.




the sign i made for our rooom!

all around the edges are reasons that are not good enough to disturb us.

glad i was not that car. epic fail in sundance canyon

the car was from UTAH. i stand by my generalization (that cant totally be true) that all utah drivers suck.

kirst just nibblin on the wooden shoe, this is what we do.

squashies (im worried about it overgrowing the whole plot, so i need to train it to climb up something...)

beaaan trellace! sugar snap peas coming up nicely if a tad bit helter skeltery.

the entire plot (there are two others around it but those are being "used" by my landowners) :[

ricky table arrangement ughhh i love these flowers! they are so happy.

balloooon pjs!


okay, not a small patch... there are three or four just of these yellow minis.

follow the yellow ____ road

bitter lettuce, not butter lettuce but doesnt it look so good!?!


tomatoes that i worry about because im on the corner of a street and my neighbor comes out and smokes all the time right upwind... and cigarette smoke will KILL your tomatoes. TOTALLY KILL them. if it does i'm going to have a word with him.

winterborn kale nom nom nom


tomatoe sproutlettes

pretty

too many LEAVES! leaves no fruit for the nutrients to go to...

strawberry plotarooskie. planted in a wagon wheel

grapes coming back after the vigorous prune.


tonight i am going to make signs for all the plants. wahoo whahooo!

my mother

mom: "i am exhausted making these quiet books for church"
me: "what for? they don't need to be done for a while..."
mom: "for your father. so he'll keep quiet in church."
me: "can you make one for brandon?"


mom: " no way."

hahahahaha

things i want

1. my lymph nodes in my GROIN to stop this painful swelling and my sunburn to stop itchering.

kirsten's mum says i have "tissue trauma" sweet, good old jacqueline, getting a good start to her summer skin cancer.


2. this apartment in rexburg...





(minus the furniture...)

3. this sleeping bag...


(thank you jmh4th)

4. (last but CERTAINLY not least.) this man...



thank you.

also i was musing today out loud and i realized that there is no female alternative to the phrase "ladies' man"? how did this escape my notice earlier?!

the fruitbats

i love this tune.





my senior year in high school i listened to this song over and over and over again.

something about it always keeps me coming back.



ps i don't think the whole song is on here, and i don't know who this person is i just like the song and i couldn't find it anywhere else.

frabjous day callooo callay!

oh the careless days of youth.

when was i so young that i could walk across people's yards without a thought, meandering through the villages of my imagination and really probably just crushing some old woman's prized petunias?

brandon emailed me.

i wish i could instill all this nervousness and anxious joy into one container, seal it tight and stick it in the fridge for eternity.


that's what.

you forget the good things because they hurt too much to remember all the time.

today was supposed to be the last day of patrol for brandon.

is this even real?

i'm not sure if i'm a day behind or a month ahead of myself.


i need to go to sleep, my body is doing this physical whine
where it pulls on you,
presses on your head
and makes your actions slow and

just
slow.

shadows take longer to focus
and the only logical thought is
bed
bed
bed

.

but i can't
i'm thinking about you somewhere.

i'm thinking about how you're all packed
and getting ready to travel for the last time up to leatherneck
and get on a chopper
and come home.

slowly.

here.


in our bed
in our house
in my arms

.

is that even possible?

zee means ocean in dutch

i found this song by zee avi when i was working in a small cafe in rancho santa fe called thyme on the ranch last year while brandon was training at pendleton.

it was my favorite one
and made my work
a lot easier.

i still love it.
and today im singing it loudly while i do laundry.

my favorite part is the dada da da dumm dum dum parts.

and the horn.

love
ja

chrysanthe-mums

ode to motherisms.

what can you say about moms that hasn't already been said?

they're incredible.

I am so lucky to have the mother I have.
To show me how to live my life, or how I want to live my life (I try.)

and I am blessed beyond measure by my new mother in law Elaine,
who has opened my eyes and my heart often
to the strength of sacrifice.


I love you momS!

you make my life rich!

I said it a long time ago, but if you are a woman you are a mother.
So happy mothers day to all the wonderful women out there!

I wrote a long poem about you today. it's been a long time since you were on my mind but there's a line in it that says there is a lump in my throat with your name on it.


it's true you know.

I'm not going to pontificate on a subject that I've had a small life to practice such a large concept in.

in spite of the fact that I can say with every whit of me that I've loved my best, my most to each person who has given me the chance.


the poem is called The Exception.




I hope you know
I was never perfect
I never expected to be
I accepted you

as you were.

the greatest gift I've ever had
refused.

annnnd i cried like a baby.

we will laugh as they wheel us away

I am renting The Young Victoria because my itunes demands that i should.

just kidding, the genius recommended it to me.

That and I need an example of how easy my life is
the perfect one for today?

Queen Victoria.

and her prince albert.

okay i really just wanted to watch a romance and see if i wont cry.
sue me.

the lights are flickering again. the power went out this morning. Better shower while i can eh?

the title of this blog was inspired by kirsten (as many things are) and attributed to her, and also maybe a song she got it from. but i can't be certain.

it makes me laugh.

things aren't ever as bad as i think they are.

it's true consolation when i lay in my bed at night and cry until i cannot breathe over a husband who is ALIVE.

i am a silly girl.

the lone stretch

an excess of NaCl in H20

today.