ice baths. are not good for you.

this is my story.

this morning i got a text that said it was snowing.

i leapt out of bed

threw on a bathrobe over my g's

put on rainboots,
got my keys

marched straight for the back door and out it
and shut it behind me locked.


out.


outside in the pouring slushing freezing snow,
without a cellphone


i covered up my plants

came back to try the door because this must be a dream

and thought of all the people who dont have keys,
dont have my landlords number
memorized including me.

and dont have cellphones.

so i decided to try to break in

folks, if you thought it was hard breaking into a 21st century home,

try breaking into one built in the 50's

they are rock solid.
that
and i made sure there were screws in every single window
because im a parnoid freak.


needless to say, i noticed a log underneath my kitchen window


and with the broken gutter spilling ice water onto my head
i begged that old window open with my weeding fork.


for a half an hour.

shameless,
and frozen

in my gs
and bathrobe
and boots,

i climbed up onto my recycling bin
and threw myself into the kitchen sink

bawling
and hammered the window shut when i was finished.

i wish i wasnt alone anymore.


goodmorning monday.
i hate you.