Somedays

Nothing feels real when you know there's a war going on. When you know why there's a war going on.

Absolutely nothing.

Not even spin classes hurt,
or the cupcake shake I downed afterwards.

But I'm just grateful, and horrified.

And full of so much to do all the time that maybe I don't have time to think about how I feel.

Is that so bad?

We'll see.

I know all I'm going to want when you call is for you to talk about it,
just so I can feel like I've done SOMETHING for you

cus thats how I feel better- I talk and talk and talk and talk.

so I can know you are okay.

Are you okay?

There isn't much else I can do now
except accept

and pray and pray and pray and pray

no more tears.
Last night I cried so hard I almost threw up,
and then I had to lean back and think
how ridiculous!

That doesn't help anyone.

So I read my scriptures instead
I'm on Alma 32

which was perfect

and used the exact words I used to describe our marriage.
Right now
our marriage is FAITH.

Just come home so it can be LIFE
again.

j