uninvited.

It's sunday! Where did this week go? And is it coming back to haunt me in a different slower week?

Obagi update: I woke up yesterday morning after I used it the night before, and every blemish on my face was reduced to almost nothing. I kissed the bottles. Usually if I try something new on my face I get dry patches all over or I get super oily because my skin is like WHYYYY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME AGAIN?

So hearts and stuff to obagi for winning me over.

on a deeper note: the lucky charms are almost gone. Also, I'm like 98% positive that I've been sleeping poorly because Peanut is awake all night moving and dancing in her little bubble of fluid while I toss and turn. This would also explain why I haven't been feeling her during the day, shessreeping! Sorry peanut, you better change that habit up real fast before you get here. I'll give you... 18 weeks to do it.

Am I going to die?
Mothers who are on their second or thirds tell me I won't, but how do they know?! Just kidding, I think the best thing anyone has said to me yet was "be anxious, be worried, be yourself, and then on kid number two you can just relax and enjoy the ride."

Oh, but if you want to paint a room while pregnant- don't listen to the sherwin williams guy who says the fumes in the paint wont harm you or your future childbean, because he is a LIAR and if there is something wrong with peanut because I've been priming her room to death I'll go like a mother bear for blood. For reals.

On the back of the paint can he sold me in huge letters is "known to cause birth and reproductive defects"

sweet huh.

Def not inviting that guy to my baby shower.

:]

when we were little kids, my sister and i used to try to eat all the oat cereal out of our lucky charms so that all that was left in the milk were the marshmellows and I still can't do it without eating some marshmellows. Takes too much discipline. Guys, when am I going to grow up?! I have to be a mom soon! Okay, let me rephrase: I GET to be a mom soon! Does everything just come to you?! I need to take a birth class before I go crasy. That way I can be in a big boat full of all sorts of different newb mothers to be. And maybe I'll realize that my body was meant to do this and everything I feel and experience and think is normal and that I'm not going to be a terrible mom.


Why don't babies come with handbooks? I've read every book out there (almost), and it makes me feel worse!

On a happier note, i substituted wall primer for a big salad last night and i felt not so guilt ridden for maybe putting peanut in harms way for 5 or 6 hours.

I know all my non-prego mom to be friends are laughing at me for freaking out so badly about the paint thing right now, but just you wait you guys... you just fall in love so completely with this person inside you and your natural instinct is: i will do everything i can to protect and love this person no matter what, even abstain from impromtu dance sessions with your husband in the grocery store and at home and really let's be honest: everywhere else. And to you that's a sacrifice. And then you do something dumb like decide you can move a couch because you still have arms, or eat something that someone told you was a no no, or you cant keep your prenatals down, or maybe you prime a room for your child, or you clean too much and dont wear a mask...

and i promise: you will have that thought of "what if i'm killing/hurting my child?!"

and it's the scariest thought you will ever have.

until labor.
from what i hear.

we'll see.