i'm not going to say that i never cared about freedom or anything before i met brandon- but i am going to say that it means a lot more to me now because of him.
some days i wish brandon was still that youthful gung ho american soldier marine man who believed that he had something to do over in afghanistan that was noble and good. and some days he is, but mostly the war took that person and buried him under ten feet of dust and sand and death, so on most days he thinks the military is the biggest waste of time and money and human hearts there's ever been.
but every year, on the fourth of july- there's a magical pride in the air that is contagious for our country and what it's taken to get us here. i'm not talking about obesity- that kind of wonderful, i'm talking about the raw goodness that surrounds any difficult acquirement. and the appreciation that comes with struggle and unfortunately, sometimes, a fight.
we went up to afton wyoming to visit my mother's side of the family. my grandparents were kind enough to let us stay with them in their camper which i secretly in an openish fashion love. at one point my grandpa (who, served in the navy himself) asked brandon if he thought what we were doing over in afghanistan was something he believed in still.
i've asked him that a few times myself and i always get a different response from him. but here is what i've gathered. :
if we dont help them, who will?
really.
who will?
if we dont do anything about the situation there, then it will eventually come here.
i think we are doing a terrible job at an initially good plan.
and
the afghanistan people need to stand up for their own country.
as much as i've moaned and groaned about the military, i'm proud to be a marine wife- and when people ask me about it i say it's not something e ever would have planned for myself, but it's taught me more about my own strength as a person than any other trial i've ever experienced.
(now that i'm a mom, there are new experiences that try me and i'm aware that an entirely new growth must occur in order for me to feel successful at all)
and i'm glad of it.
when people tell brandon he's a hero, or that he has done something great, it's actually sort of offensive to him. not because he isn't- but because he knows people who he feels are the real heroes. and they are. like the men who die out there, the ones who give their lives, and the families who suffer the loss of their brothers and sisters and fathers and sometimes mothers. he wants their sacrifice so badly to not be in vain. but it's difficult for him because he's still alive and most people here in the states treat the war like it's unnecessary, useless, and is going on and on and on far too long.
what i'm really trying to say, and i'm doing an awful job at it and going about it all the wrong way... is happy fourth of july. i hope one day, the people in afghanistan and in many other countries can celebrate freedom and be proud of the rights they've struggled for.
i also hope that the moral of our nation and troops can be revived, and maybe we can re-assess our involvement in conflicts and be more pro-active and supportive in the conflicts we are in on already.
and most importantly remember the lives that have gone before us, died for us, and their efforts to retain our rights and freedoms, and the blessings we enjoy because of it.
i love my country, and i love my husband and the things he's done, and the honor he shows our nation by the way he lives. i love that i have the choice to be whoever i want to, and believe in whatever i want to, and the ability to be unoppressed and happy.
and let's be real, to have this girl.
2 comments:
Jacqueline, this post made me cry. Tell your aweet husband thank you for his service and his sacrifice. And from one military wife to another, THANK YOU for YOUR service and sacrifice. No one can understand YOUR part in all this until they experience it for themselves, so thank you. For the record, I want to tell you that having a baby girl has been the VERY BEST thing for my Marine, in helping him to REALLY start coming home from the war. I pray that Grace blesses Brandon's life in that same way. Thank you again for this blog post, and please tell Brandon thank you as well. Hope the three of you are doing well. Maybe I will get the chance to meet you in person some day. I get the feeling that you are an amazing person. Happy Independence Day!
Thank you for this. Believe it or not, you and your husband has changed the way I look at the armed forces and the sacrifices being made by so many families. I used to be a lot more anti-any-way and, to my shame, dismissed those in the armed forces as moon-eyed fools who were dying for no reason. But although there is still some element of frustration and despair about the way the war is going, seeing your husband's noble sacrifice, and your own humble courage has helped me understand the beauty of doing something for your country. You've revived my faith in America in some ways, and I don't think I'll ever forget those things.
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