two firsthands

i like asking questions.

because sometimes i get answers like i did this morning.
from my mother's mouth

loudly.

ive decided the answer really came from me,
but it was woken up by my mum.
which,
happens frequently.

the lesson is
that life is good to learn from
but its not living unless you use (or act, whichever you prefer) what you learn.


sounds cheezerific.

but its true.

and i like that stuff.
the true kind.
because it gets in your bones
and you can share it with other people.


example.

i watch people all day.
and now, on top of the flower shoppe watching extravaganza im going to get paid to watch a baby girl.

nein months old ish

named sierra.
and i met her today and im sure she's never been sad in her life.
even though its been brief.

so,
anyhow
i watch these people
and i learn all sorts of things.
positive things, negative things, i give myself questions and answer them in the way people treat each other and i imagine that i know so much from where im standing.

except that if that was true
i would have learned by now

that there are always always different views.

always.
even when you think there isnt.

seems simple enough.
except that it is impossible, physically to understand every view
even if you think about it all day in a booth.

you have to experience it.

and even though i feel like i've seen so much

i cant wait
to experience it firsthand.
i just hope i remember what i learned

secondhand.

i need to thank those other hands that did it first.






also i would like to add how much i love and admire my older sister.
she is the B O M diggity and i am so happy everytime she calls me.
she reminds me that i am sane, by showing me that even sane people are insane sometimes.