rain thoughts

my mother wakes me up asking for scarves.
and i sleep wake tell her with my hand that they are on the bedpost.
"in the drawer?" she askes, opening the cabinets and moving things around. " mhniuh" and another finger for her.
in the dream that has just become real life, i am in a car driving to utah to get away from somebody i know and love very well (very soon).
this dream confuses me. not just because of the Filapinos and singing. and it speaks loudly against the piece of paper i am sleeping on titled "the big o".
so.

one time i gave that book away because i was sure i had met my missing piece, although at the time it looked like an o. and now i feel this could end out the same way.
read the book and perhaps you'll understand.
i perch on my bed and look at my own destruction and distraction of a room. on the wall is a quilt my mother has started and not finished- and as my mind wanders i find, that certainly she had something to do with my ever moving mind.
the clothes about the four walls (in every place you could imagine) mirror the quilt in colors, but not in organization. and i think that maybe anything would be better than piles. and everybody knows
that piles, means wrinkles.
blech.

the only thing on my agenda today besides ignoring the mess
is making a bigger one.

ive decided that its been too long since i played with puppies.
so im getting in my car,
and im going to go play with one of god's greatest gifts and curses to my nose.